I knew I should be telling her it was OK, that everything was going to be all right. But I had absolutely no idea if that was true any more. Physically it seemed feasible now she was getting around a lot more nimbly on her crutches, and her leg wound was making good progress. That was a job I’d been able to handle, because it’d been simple and straightforward. One foot in front of the other, one bandage after the next, keep it clean, stay inside the lines, and Bob’s always going to be your uncle. But this was a lot. Maybe too much.

‘It’s a lot. I know it’s a lot, Danny. I’m really sorry.’

I felt something trying to dislodge in my throat, and I swallowed it down hard before it had a chance to dump me in it. Calm down, Mulberry. Engage brain, restrain mouth, tread carefully. Do better. I recalled the thoughtful, considered advice I’d just dished out to some poor bugger Pete had suggested we call Erstwhile in Egham, about his unexpected redundancy and his subsequent feelings of panic about the future. It was an answer I’d been particularly proud of, but I had no idea what was called for here and now, faced with my very own close-to-home, in-person problem. Some wise counsel? A firm hand? A comradely nod? None of it seemed adequate.

‘Lou, I don’t know what to say.’ I proceeded to prove my point magnificently as I listened to the grass growing and Ray’s toenails crashing to the bathroom floor next door. Lou tilted her head slightly to one side, like Gentleman when he’s trying his hardest to understand my gibberish after a night at the pub.

‘I do, though.’

The intent of her words was tangible, and I had to plant my feet hard into the patio tiles to stop me from running. They were filled with everything I didn’t know; all the things that got Lou to a place that I couldn’t, and didn’t want to, imagine. But still, I reached over and took her hand, because it was the right thing to do and for once in my life I could do it.

‘OK. Tell me.’

Lou put her other hand over the top of mine and pressed down.

‘It’s all a bit hazy, really. I’m not sure of all the details, especially right after the accident. The doctor reckons it might be as good as it’s ever going to get, so maybe I can put it down to temporary insanity and be done with it.’ She laughed, dry and nervous, and gave a little half-shrug. ‘Or, you know, madder than usual in that moment.’

She gently unwound her fingers from mine and sat back in her chair. I immediately missed our little hand sandwich.

‘I . . . Look, I know things aren’t right with me. Dom says maybe I—’

She paused mid-sentence and I knew my face had given me away, because it was hard not to flinch when I heard (again) that she’d confided in my best mate before me, even though the biggest disappointment was knowing she’d been dead right to do it.