Once other people were home it was a lot easier to get lost in the crowd, so I’d managed to almost completely avoid Lou and Wolfie, apart from a brief sighting as I passed through the kitchen at dinner time on my way to the pub for a couple of made-up birthday celebrations. Yes, two in a row, George, and mind your beeswax.

I knew it couldn’t last, though, and I was right.

On the third morning, Wolfie showed up in the kitchen while I was still making coffee. I don’t know how long she’d been there, listening to Dom and me discussing the merits of almond milk, but when a flash of movement caught my eye I looked over and she was standing in the doorway. Watching me.

‘Oh. Hi. Hey. Good morning.’ I tried to keep my cool, but even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, my niece made me slightly nervous at the best of times, let alone when she turned up like a teenage ninja.

‘Long time no see, Danny.’ She raised an eyebrow and gave me about a quarter of a smile. I felt my intestines shrivel. OK, that’s why.

‘You might want to watch that.’ She indicated with her head but it was too late, and a steaming volcano of milk frothed over the edges of the jug and on to the bench.

‘Shit it all!’

‘Dad, Danny said a swear word!’ George bounded into the kitchen ready for action, but as soon as he saw Wolfie, my potty mouth was relegated to the second most interesting thing in the room. He buzzed around, pulling out chairs, firing questions at her and bigging up the breakfast situation.

‘Wolfie, do you want cornflakes? That’s what I’m having. You didn’t have anything yesterday, weren’t you hungry? We’ve got other cereal, too, but cornflakes are the best. Danny reckons it’s like eating little crunchy bits of sunshine. Give Wolfie a humungous bowl of cornflakes, Dad, like me.’

Dom poured a couple of normal-sized bowls of cornflakes and hosed George down with a reminder about his backpack, homework and lunch box. I carried on making coffee, slotting in a new order of an Americano for Wolfie. Because of course she drank black coffee; she probably liked to finish off with a cigar and a glass of port.

With my job done and everyone else occupied with breakfast, it was a good time to make my escape. By my reckoning there was still about twenty minutes before they’d be leaving for the school run (which I shouldn’t have been surprised to find out already seamlessly included Wolfie), so I made plans to drink my coffee in the shed, do some quick research on what was showing at the St John’s Wood Odeon, then leg it via the side gate. Dom was flicking through his Guardian, and George was practically swooning at the thought of half an hour in the car with Wolfie, so I started edging towards the back door. I nearly made it.