In bed, washed and in clean new pyjamas, I switch off the bedside lamp and I think about him again. Stuart Brandon Pierce. I say his name in the darkness: three words, like a magic spell. I think of the GIFs on the web page: his swimmer hips, twisting right to left along with the shaker, right to left. A strawberry, tossed, flying in a perfect parable over his head and diving into a long-stemmed glass, again and again and again. His soft brown eyes coming into focus as the GIF zooms in and he holds out a FROZEN DAIQUIRI!!!! Pink cocktails for the ladies. How does one even get into that line of work? What kind of work does it qualify as and what are we even in for? I’m falling asleep. Strawberries, raspberries and cherries. I whisper his name again, Stuart Brandon Pierce, and as I do, my hand slides under the elastic of my underwear.

Flesh closes around my throat, rubber skin pulling my chin open, seawater in my mouth, as his knee snaps my spine backwards, as my body, released, floats downward, until it reaches the ocean’s bottom.

HONEY

Nearly Ten Years Earlier

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:21

are u awake

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:23

hey

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:25

i wasn’t sure ud be still

awake

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:26

i am now

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:26

sorry i didn’t mean

to wake u

did I wake u?

i hope not

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:29

nah’s cool

what is it?

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:33

nothing u

said i could talk

to u

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:34

sure – i just didn’t

think in the middle

of the night,

it’s almost 1

out here

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:36

sure. sorry

just … why?

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:37

why what?

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:39

i was just thinking

u said u wanted

to get to know

me for real

why?

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:40

what do you mean why?

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:42

like you slept w

alanna already

why me?

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:48

because I like you,

and that’s got nothing

to do with alanna

like I told you

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:48

i liked you before

straightaway

when i met you

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:49

in the agency?

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:49

i like you now

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:50

she was here before

just now

though

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:52

i haven’t spoken to

her since you guys

were in Rome,

ruth, please

believe me

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:54

she just came here

called me names

and said i’m YOUR

little bitch now and

that’s what

u call me but 1/2

how

would she

know we talked

i haven’t told her

unless u have 2/2

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 00:56

and why would I do

something like that?

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 01:00

i don’t know

for a laugh

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 01:03

well she’s making it up

TO: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 01:03

oh honey

i’m sorry but

what kind of sick twisted

person does that?

FROM: RUTH BEADLE

02/07/06 — 01:05