Dear Sumiko,

I have spent the past few days in a daze, sitting around, daydreaming, imagining the different ways you might have interpreted my words. I’ve been waiting and hoping. I’m not kidding when I say I’ve been longing for your reply with sighs uncharacteristic of this era. (Actually, I am; I am kidding, I am being ridiculous. I am making things up, because I am starting to feel like an idiot.) I was so excited at having finally summoned the courage to speak to you that I never tried to read my own messages through your eyes. Now that I have gone and done so I realize how terribly naive I have been.

Sumiko, I am beginning to suspect that you might be reading these messages as the ramblings of a madman. Well, listen, I’d like to send you my sincerest apologies. I want to reassure you that I only wanted to get to know you better. It is true that your modest beauty has touched me deeply, but please believe that I never intended for my admiration to make you uncomfortable. Don’t let me bother you further: write back and I can explain.

Your Cloud

From: [email protected]

Sent: 22 January 2012 10:22

To: [email protected]

Subject: Phishing Warning

Dear Neil,

I have been updating our company-wide contact list and couldn’t help noticing that the email address [email protected] is listed as your secondary contact in your profile entry. I would suggest looking into your security settings, as it appears that a number of spam emails have been generated from that account.

Best wishes,
Sumiko Hino

Administrative Assistant
The Kite Group
London W1 3HN
+44 208 648 9992

From: [email protected]

Sent: 22 January 2012 11:06

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Phishing Warning

Dear Sumiko,

Thanks for letting me know. I have now changed the password to my account. Will you please remove said spam address from my record? Thank you.

Best,
Neil Pratchett

Senior Accountant
The Kite Group
London W1 3HN
+44 208 648 9986

DIET COKE

Ruth

Now

Coping with loss.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve – everyone can find a healthy way to deal with pain.

I know the cover off by heart. I know the name of the colour too – periwinkle: a muddy, bluish violet. I looked it up on Wikipedia and discovered that it’s named after a flower. Everything about the care home is carefully calculated in this way, pastel and artificial; soft conventions that hold meaning beyond their official functions.