Chapters (73)
- Rabbit Hole
- Also by Mark Billingham
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Preface
- PART ONE
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- PART TWO
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- Back Cover
I do feel like I was responsible in some way for what you went through. I should never have told you everything that happened in that flat, because I know now that it’s what you came to believe had happened to you. I feel like I planted the idea or something. I know you did believe it, too. I never felt like you were stealing my life, anything like that. I know you couldn’t help it, Al. But I also know that I can’t carry on pretending it’s just this weird thing that happened. We both need to be honest with ourselves.
I said something before about being brave enough to finally send this, but I know I’m actually being a coward because I’m just pressing a button and not sitting down and talking this through with you in person. I just couldn’t face that, so I’m sorry again. More sorry.
I don’t know if this is the right thing to do medically or whatever, but I’ve looked this stuff up online and nobody seems to know what the right thing is or when the right time might be. It’s the right thing for me though, I know that. There have been far too many lies already and my sanity matters every bit as much as yours.
I really hope you’ve already started coming out the other side of all this. I hope you’re better and getting on with a normal life. You deserve to be happy.
I want the best for you, Al, I promise you that.
Take care, mate.
Banksy x
Detective Sergeant Tim Banks read through the email he’d agonised over long into a great many nights and rewritten so often that he’d forgotten what it had said to begin with. He closed the email and dragged it into the drafts folder. He finished what was left in his wineglass, then opened the email again.
He moved the cursor until it was hovering over the send button.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
No reader should be expected to shell out for a book, in whatever format, if its author found the writing of that book too easy. I say that, of course, well aware that you might have been gifted this particular book or found it on a park bench. You might even have nicked it, in which case I hope you feel a little bit ashamed. There’s always the possibility that you’ve borrowed Rabbit Hole from your local library, which should always be encouraged, but however you acquired it, I think my point holds. Writing a book shouldn’t be a doddle and it rarely is, but this one, for all manner of reasons, was particularly . . . tricky.