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Back Rabbit Hole Save as PDF
Chapters (73)
  1. Rabbit Hole
  2. Also by Mark Billingham
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. Preface
  8. PART ONE
  9. ONE
  10. TWO
  11. THREE
  12. FOUR
  13. FIVE
  14. SIX
  15. SEVEN
  16. EIGHT
  17. NINE
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. THIRTY-TWO
  41. THIRTY-THREE
  42. PART TWO
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. FIFTY
  60. FIFTY-ONE
  61. FIFTY-TWO
  62. FIFTY-THREE
  63. FIFTY-FOUR
  64. FIFTY-FIVE
  65. FIFTY-SIX
  66. FIFTY-SEVEN
  67. FIFTY-EIGHT
  68. PART THREE
  69. FIFTY-NINE
  70. SIXTY
  71. EPILOGUE
  72. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  73. Back Cover

‘That’s a relief,’ I say. ‘Oh, by the way, are you sure I ­haven’t got Alzheimer’s?’

George smiles at the stupid joke and I instantly forgive him for ratting me out.

‘The tablets won’t eradicate these blackouts overnight,’ Bakshi says. ‘But the symptoms will ease and, as you know better than most people, PTSD in whatever form can be resolved with professional help.’

‘Thank you,’ I say. I’m not sure I’ve ever said it to her before.

Not meant it, at any rate.

‘This is all very positive,’ Marcus says.

‘Bang on,’ George says.

‘It’s always positive when you can identify a problem early and start dealing with it. If it makes you feel any better, Alice, you should also know that you are far from being the only patient who is . . . struggling a little after what happened to Nurse McClure. Some members of staff, too. In many respects, the whole of the ward is suffering with PTSD right now.’

‘That’s really nice to know,’ I say. Things might be looking up, but I still don’t think it’s a good time to remind him that somebody on his ward is a killer. Or tell him that whoever that is wants to see me dead. ‘Safety in numbers, right?’

As soon as I walk out of the MDR, I’m waylaid by Femi who tells me that I have a visitor. Before I have a chance to ask any questions, she’s opening the door to one of the small consultation rooms.

‘Everywhere else is busy,’ she says. ‘So I’ve put your friend in here.’

My visitor is standing up as I step into the room.

‘Hey, Al,’ Andy says.

FORTY-SEVEN

FORTY-SEVEN

It only takes a few seconds of me standing there and staring at him, before Andy looks away. I smile, because it’s such an unexpected treat to see how nervous he is. He says, ‘Oh . . .’ then reaches down to a paper bag on the table and lifts out the gift he’s brought with him.

Now I stare at that instead.

‘I didn’t really know what to bring,’ he says. ‘I was thinking maybe a book or something, but I couldn’t decide what to get . . . and you know, people always bring fruit, right? I guessed you wouldn’t be short of fruit.’

It’s a cactus. A fucking cactus.

‘I thought it would be nice in your room,’ he says.

‘Cheers,’ I say. ‘I’m grateful, obviously, but just saying I can think of a few other things that might have been more useful. I mean . . . a vibrator would definitely come in handy.’ I sit down then lean forward to study the spiky monstrosity on the table. ‘It’s the right shape, but I don’t think I’m quite that desperate yet.’