Chapters (73)
- Rabbit Hole
- Also by Mark Billingham
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Preface
- PART ONE
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- PART TWO
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- Back Cover
We walked past the examination rooms again, the occupational therapy room and the meds hatch. Again. Mia, who was clearly taking her WEO duties seriously but had drawn the line at following the pair of us up and down like an idiot, had staked out an observation post in the doorway of the nurses’ station. We walked past the music room and the 136 Suite, turned right at the dining room and headed for the airlock.
Lauren stuck two fingers up from the toilet doorway.
Ilias said, ‘Idiots,’ as we marched past him.
‘Did you hear anything about Kevin and Shaun having an argument?’
Donna shook her head.
‘You know, the big fight?’
She shook her head again, eyes wide and fixed. With these athletes it’s all about focus. ‘What about drugs?’ I asked. ‘You know anything about drugs going missing?’ She nodded as we turned at the airlock and began another lap. I quickened my pace to keep up with her. ‘What?’
‘My drugs,’ she said. ‘They go missing all the time.’
‘That’s not what I—’
‘Well, they get taken at any rate. Soon as I get them brought in, they confiscate them. My Hydroxycut and my caffeine pills. That bitch Debbie even took my laxatives, for pity’s sake. They take everything I really need off me, then give me anti-depressants and Kwells to stop me drooling, like they know what’s best. I know what I need, Al, because it’s my body.’ She glanced at me and shook her head, tears in her eyes. ‘My laxatives . . .’
As we walked past the nurses’ station again, I saw Mia writing something down. Behind her, Marcus pointed at me and something snapped. I felt it, you know? Like a tiny bomb going off inside.
I turned to Donna. ‘Why do you do this?’
Donna swallowed and began walking even faster.
‘Seriously, what is the point? Marching up and down this corridor like a clockwork lunatic, trying to lose the weight you haven’t put on because you don’t eat anything. Literally, nothing. Staring at yourself in the mirror all the time and thinking you look fat, which is what ordinary idiots like me do because most of us probably are . . . while you actually look like a jogger in fucking Auschwitz or something. I mean, seriously. All that rubbish you were coming out with the other night about Kevin killing himself. You don’t even see the irony of that, do you . . . ?’
I stopped to get my breath back. Donna had moved ahead of me anyway now and I could hear her crying. Ilias was watching me, sitting backwards on a chair outside the 136. He said, ‘You tell her. Skinny bitch.’
Suddenly I felt terrible for upsetting Donna and I knew I needed to knock it on the head for a bit.
Have some time to think.