“I thought that was one of the things we wanted to do together,” she mumbles before flopping down with a loud noise.

God, now I feel even more horrible. I’m not only wasted but also a shitty friend.

“I’m sorry, Chi. But if you ask me, I’d suggest we replace it with something else. Shots are no fun.”

A moment passes where I plead to her with my gaze, and she finally grins. “Look at you, lucky girl. Running the inn. Spending evenings with the hottest celebrity couple. Living under the same roof as Lukas. Your life must feel like you’ve won the lottery, Auttie!”

“Does it?”

Why doesn’t it feel that way to me? Why do I feel like someone else is in the driver’s seat, and I’m just trying to do the best I can with the situation thrown my way. As always, I tiptoe through my life, scared of disappointing everyone.

But do things look different from the outside?

“You don’t think so?” Chiara asks, suddenly confused.

I shrug. “I feel like I have no control in my life. Things happen, and I just flow with them.”

“It doesn’t always seem that way.” She leans forward, pushing the breakfast plate closer to me.

I’d completely forgotten about it. I sit up and pick up the fork.

“But maybe you should stop letting others take charge and make decisions for you. I know you don’t like to say no, but sometimes you should.”

I stop chewing the bite of omelet I’d pushed into my mouth. “I’m hungry.”

She giggles. “I wasn’t talking about now. But tell me why all of a sudden, I’m feng-shui-ing you.”

I bite my lip. My heart palpitates as I imagine Lukas from last night. If not for this throbbing headache, I’d have believed everything was a dream. The shots at least had some silver lining.

“I kissed Lukas,” I whisper.

“Was he good?” Chiara asks. I’m surprised she isn’t shocked by the declaration. Her excited gaze jumps around as if she was just waiting for me to say yes, but her question prompts me to think about last night with a new view. Not what happened but how it happened.

“He was perfect.” I close my eyes, and everything flashes in my mind on a loop. His grip on me, the way he felt underneath me. “He was…devastatingly hot.”

“Holy crap! Did you guys…”

I shake my head, my palms sweaty as I wonder what could have happened if we hadn’t stopped. “I dry humped him.”

“Wow!” Chiara whispers with wide eyes.

“Is it that much of a surprise? Him and me together?”