He’s quiet and I try to explain. “Maybe it’s superficial and a stupid thing to worry about. I know people have bigger problems. Mortgage or rent. Tuition fees. Will there be food tomorrow? And here I am sleepless and restless in the finest suite of our inn. But”—my breath hitches, and his hands tighten around my stomach—“all my life I’ve felt that everyone around me is just waiting to pick up the mess I’ve created and fix it for me. For once, I’d love for them to believe that I know what I’m doing. Even if something doesn’t work right, I’ll know how to solve it and make it right again.”

My eyes water as I admit this out loud for the first time. “I’ve always followed the path my family has shown me, and it’s a good way. But sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to make my own experiences in life or if everything I own and know will be borrowed or gifted to me?”

He turns me in his arms and wipes my face. “You’re an amazing person, Autumn. You have the gift of keeping others’ happiness above your own. Not many can do that. But if I know anything about love, it’s that it shouldn’t be a burden or a duty. It shouldn’t tie you to a place where you don’t want to be. It should liberate you instead. You should thrive, not suffocate in love.”

His fingers drift over my cheeks, and I realize I still have tears running down my face.

“Next time you feel too burdened with the pressure of others’ wishes, you should speak up. Speak up for what you want and what you desire.”

“In this moment, I desire you,” I whisper.

26. Lukas

26

LUKAS

I’m fucking cornered by the blazing emotion in Autumn’s eyes. I no longer feel like the man I was seconds before, who was telling her how she should demand her wishes. The tables have turned, but her words are in my favor. Our favor. “You sure?”

She looks around and then back at me. “Do you think someone could be nearby?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. But there’s always a risk of getting caught with your pants down.”

“I think whoever catches you with your pants down will be impressed.”

I chuckle. “I thought I was your first. How do you know I’m not an average or below average guy when it comes to my dick?”

“Oh, Lukas, you’re so not an average guy. Plus, I’m not that innocent. I have seen…porn.” Her cheeks turn pink at the admission.

“And they were doing it outside?” A bolt of surprise darts through me at her admission.

“I’ve watched more than one.” She hits my chest and bursts into laughter, possibly at the shock on my face.