I laugh. “I couldn’t dance even if my life depended on it. You know that.”

“Then?”

“I gave him a blow job,” I say with a straight face as if it’s no biggie. As if it wasn’t my first time. As if my heart wasn’t thundering loud at that moment.

“Holy shit! You did? Where? While he was lying on the bed or while he was in the shower? That’s where most blow jobs happen in movies and books.”

“You won’t believe this,” I mutter.

“I’m having a hard time believing anything right now, so go ahead, just knock me out with another shock.”

“Be prepared,” I warn and she nods. “In a parking lot.”

“Get out! You’re making this up. Autumn Melinda Smith, my bestie, who was a virgin until not long ago, is sucking men off in a parking lot? No, I can’t believe it.”

“Hey, don’t make me sound dirty. I’m not sucking men off. It was only Lukas.”

“You’re effing serious?”

“How would I even make this stuff up? It was in the lake’s parking lot last night. I hadn’t planned it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, so I’d wanted to…do that, but I’m still in shock that it happened like this.”

“Then what happened?”

“Then he kissed me, and we took a walk and returned. He made love to me and—”

Chiara makes a squealing sound and I stop. “You love him? You love him and you haven’t told me?”

“Chi, I just fully realized it only now, and I don’t know where he stands on this.” My throat chokes. “I’m not even sure why I’m feeling so emotional all of a sudden.” My hands shake as I look up and try to push the tears away.

“My mom says true love always comes with tears and heartache.” Chiara pulls my hand down and urges me to look at her. “Maybe you’re just missing him.”

“I know it’s stupid, but when I found out he was gone, it was like someone had ripped my heart out. If this is love, it isn’t easy.” I wipe my tears, which have managed to find an escape. “I just hope my tears are the happy ones.”

“Of course they are.” Chiara pats my hand.

But before she can say more, my cell phone rings. I jerk in my seat, picking it up from the table immediately, but my hopes deflate when I see Maya’s name flashing on the screen.

I clear my throat and push away the sad thoughts. “Hi, Maya. How are you doing?”

“I’m good. I wanted to check with you that everything is going okay. Or see if you need any help from us.”