‘So, you’re his sweetheart, then?’ I try to keep my voice calm, even.

‘Yes.’

I feel a sharp pain in my heart. Karl is mine. I’m his Little Mouse. He kept it from me. She kept it from me. Excluded me. They don’t want any part of me in this thing.

‘How long?’

‘Not that long. A few months, that’s all.’

‘A few months! And you never thought to tell me? What about Kurt? It was all a lie, wasn’t it? And you begged me not to tell your parents. For Christ’s sake! What about our friendship? Does it mean so little to you? Were you just using me, to get to Karl?’ Rain, spit and anger, ugly and bitter, spew from my mouth.

Vati. Karl. Erna.

Three of the most important people in my life, and they’ve all betrayed me.

‘I’m sorry.’ Erna pleads. Her sodden hair is plastered to her head, her face shiny and wet. ‘I never meant to upset you this much. We were going to tell you, but there didn’t seem much point in the beginning, what with Karl due to go away, we thought it wouldn’t last. Then, after the summer camp, it started to get serious, but the time never seemed quite right…’

‘So, you chose to lie about a made-up boyfriend. Why, Erna? What was the point of not telling me the truth?’

‘I don’t know. It was stupid. I hated lying to you. Truly, Hetty. I was just worried it would ruin our friendship.’

‘Well, it damn well has now, hasn’t it?’

I stare at Erna, her shoulders sunken in misery at my vicious words. I’m hurting her and it feels good. She’s the easiest one to take my rage out on. I can’t do it to Vati, or to Karl. But Erna? Eternally good and perfect Erna? I can get to her, all right.

But you haven’t exactly been truthful either.

That is different.

Walter is a secret for his safety.

A different situation entirely.

‘Go away, Erna,’ I say at last. ‘Just leave me alone. I hate you both. But mostly you. You’re nothing but a lying pig!’

I turn and run, hard and fast through the downpour. My chest hurts and I’m soaked to the skin, but it doesn’t silence the torrent of voices in my head.

What have you done?

YOU are the villain, for falling for a Jew.

VATI is the lowlife with his secret family.

You’ve just lost the best friend you have ever had.

Hetty Heinrich, you are the biggest fool in the universe.

14 October 1937

Everywhere I go, Erna’s there. She’s at school. She’s at BDM. She watches me with sad, puppy-dog eyes. But I’m not giving in. I’m not ready to forgive her. The more I think it over, the more certain I become. I suppose it will make Vati proud of me again, not that I really care what he thinks anymore. Besides, Erna deserves it. Plus it’s insurance, in case Ingrid speaks. They’ll never believe Ingrid if I do this. There will be no doubt where my allegiances lie.