We didn’t have many strangers back home, so we could only play this when we were at some diner on our way back from fishing. Or when we were in Green Bay. It shouldn’t be surprising that after we became hooked on telenovelas, the simple observations turned into full-blown conspiracies. Dad would automatically assume that this guy, who just looked at his watch, was late to meet up with his mistress, who also happened to be his sister-in-law.

Come to think of it, this guy does look a little anxious. He’s shaking his right knee impatiently. What’s he hiding?

I look around again and realize nobody is giving me a single glance. Why would they? I’m simply a girl getting coffee. They have no idea how much I’m hiding or who I am, how I am doing something as mundane as getting something to drink but on the inside I’m torn apart. I don’t know what’s ahead of me or, really, what was behind me. I don’t know who I am or what I want. My life has been ripped in two, but to anybody else I look whole.

My mind flashes back to last week. My birthday, with cake for lunch and dinner with Dad. Even though it wasn’t really my birthday. How could that have been only a week ago?

“What can I get you?” the girl behind the register asks me.

“Oh,” I say with a start. “Ah, yeah. Sorry. Um, can I have one of those frozen drinks?”

“A Frappuccino?” the barista clarifies. “What size? And which flavor?”

“Oh, um …”

Who knew ordering a coffee could be so complicated? After proving to everybody behind me that I’m new to Starbucks and don’t know the proper way to order a drink, I pay for my Venti Mocha Frappuccino and brownie and sit down.

My phone buzzes with a text from Paula. I tell her I’m inhaling sugar. Then another text comes from an unknown number. And it’s a long text with proper spelling and punctuation, which signals that it’s from an adult.

Hello, it’s your grandmother. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll let you know when you can come out. Should be a few more minutes. Love you.

OK, I reply, unsure what else there is to say. I can’t comprehend saying I love her back. I mean, I don’t really know her, so how do I know if I love her? It’s weird.