She rests her head on my shoulder. “You can trust me. And you can trust my family, who is really your family, too.”

“I just, with everything … I mean, I can’t thank you guys enough.”

“Of course.”

I lay my head on hers as we look out at the backyard. A quiet peace falls over me for a moment, and I’m wondering how I can hold on to the best part of my life.

“This is nice,” I comment.

“Yeah. Quiet is good, especially after today.”

“So I take it babysitting went well.”

“It was fine. Although it was very clear from the start that I’m a very poor substitute. Annie, Thomas, and Liz kept reminding me of all the fun stuff you do with them.”

“Oh God! You were at the Dorns’?” I stand up, jolted from my brief moment of tranquility. I knew she was babysitting, but I didn’t know where. I completely forgot that I was supposed to babysit for them today. It’s Saturday. I’m supposed to have my date with Neil tonight. I want to keep living my before life, even though that feels impossible right now. “I can’t believe I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” Marian pats the seat next to her. “I’ve got you covered. Nobody expects you to do anything with everything going on. You just have to …”

What? I want to ask. What exactly am I supposed to do? I can’t go to school. I can’t concentrate on anything.

I close my eyes and feel the sun on my face, the warmth fighting its way through the frigid air. I try to not think about anything. The past is too painful, the present too confusing, and the future too scary.

“Ah, so,” Marian begins. “There’s one other thing.”

Of course there is.

She continues, “I could only keep him away for so long.”

I open my eyes to see Marian gesturing her head to the door, where Neil is peeking out from behind the blinds. He takes a step back when he sees me and gives me a little wave.

“Believe me, I tried to give you some space, but he’s been freaking out. He doesn’t have to come out here. All he wanted was to make sure you’re okay. Apparently my word—as his flesh and blood—is useless. Besides, you haven’t been responding to any of his texts.”

I have no idea where my phone is. It wasn’t like Dad needed to know where I am. There’s probably a part of my subconscious that knew I didn’t want to deal with the texts that were coming in after last night.

“Do you want me to tell him to leave?”

Neil is not even discreetly hiding now. “No, it’s okay.”