She’s quiet now. Is she waiting for me to tell her that I love her? How can you love someone you don’t know?

“I want you to know that Dad has taken great care of me,” I blurt as I try to hold on to the good memories. “I’m one of the top students in my class. I’m going to get a scholarship. I don’t do drugs. Ah, I don’t even have a single cavity.”

She laughs at my babbling. “It’s so good to hear. Oh, honey, I have missed you so much. Do you …” She takes a deep breath. “I know you were so young, but do you remember me?”

I search my brain again for any glimpse or memory of my mother.

I’ve got nothing.

When I think of a mom, I think of Julie Andrews. When I was little, I’d come home from school and Dad would still be at work. We couldn’t afford day care, so I would just lock the door and put on The Sound of Music. I used to want to be part of the von Trapp family. I’d even sing along.

Maria was something special. The love and care she had for those children—that’s what a mom represented to me.

Besides, beating Nazis is always a plus.

“Mandy?”

“I—I—” I stutter. “I don’t remember you. Sorry. I thought you were dead.”

She sucks in her breath. “Oh, no. No, no, no … I can’t believe your father told you that.” Bitterness creeps into her voice when she mentions Dad. “All this time you thought I was dead?”

All this time …

“Cancer.”

She starts crying. First it’s quiet sniffles, like she’s fighting it. Then the floodgates open and I can hear her sobbing.

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have told her that. Hey, Mom, I know we haven’t spoken in fifteen years, but I thought you died from cancer.

She pulls herself together and starts talking again. “I know Sheriff Gleason said that you need some time to adjust to everything happening. I’m sure it’s a shock, but I can’t wait to see you with my own eyes. To hold my baby girl again. I’ve waited too long and can’t wait a single second more. So we’re getting on a plane as soon as possible. And when you’re ready to see me, I’ll be there. I’ve always wanted to be there for you, honey. Please know that.”

I nod, even though she can’t see me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.