I drag myself up from the floor and study my blotchy red face and bloodshot eyes in the mirror. My hair is a complete disaster. I pull out my ponytail and try to comb it into submission. I splash cold water on my face, but it doesn’t help.

Maybe it’s no use pretending. Maybe I need to stop pushing everything down and let Paula know how miserable I am. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, but I can’t keep pretending. It’s eating me up inside. She wants us to be this big happy family, but I can’t simply disregard the person I was before.

I take a deep breath and start heading downstairs. Laughter and music drift up the hallway. I pause when I realize “White Christmas” from Holiday Inn is playing on the stereo. It’s the movie Dad and I would watch on Christmas Eve.

You get to see Marian in two days, I remind myself. Hold out for two days. You can do that. Suck it up and get through today and tomorrow.

“There she is!” Craig greets me, a Santa hat placed on his head. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas,” I try to say brightly. I sniff since all the sobbing did some major damage to my sinuses.

“Are you sick?” Paula comes up to me and places the back of her hand to my forehead. “You’re really warm.” She takes a step back and looks at my face. “And red.”

I see my opportunity and take it. “I’m feeling a little under the weather. Do you think it would be okay if I stayed here today?”

The thought of having to spend the day with Paula’s family is too draining. All they see in me is the kidnapped girl they don’t know how to act around. And I have no clue how to behave around them.

She grimaces. “Well, let’s see how you feel after presents.”

“Paula,” Craig says as he shakes his head. “Ally, if you’re not feeling well, you should stay home. You’ve got your friend coming in a couple days. Got to be up for that!”

“Thanks.” I sit down on the floor near their tree.

“Your pile is over there.” Sarah points to a huge stack of presents near an armchair.

My eyes are wide. I’ve never seen so many presents in my life.

“We had a lot of Christmases to make up for,” Paula states with that sad look on her face that appears whenever she looks at me.

“It’s too much,” I say, but she ignores me and starts unwrapping the gift I got her.