“No!” Neil hits his forehead. “That’s not what I mean. It’s just you and your dad are so close. It was cool to see and all. It’s like you shared the same brain.”

I can’t reply. It’s nearly impossible even to think about Dad and my situation without breaking down. Especially since this hurt, this pain, is all his fault.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I shake my head to rid myself of the devastating thoughts. “I get that I’ll never be able to have what I had with my dad with them. It’s … I don’t feel at home here. It’s like I’m biding my time until I can leave, but Paula is insisting I look at colleges here.”

“You can’t stay in Florida.” Neil clenches his jaw.

“There is zero chance of that happening. When we were at the mall yesterday, Paula wanted me to get all this new stuff for this bedroom so I could make it my own.” I gesture to the pristine guest room. That’s how I look at it: I’m a guest. “I didn’t even want to get a throw pillow.”

It makes me uncomfortable to keep spending her money, especially on something as frivolous as a forty-dollar pillow to decorate a bed. I should’ve said yes to make Paula happy, but I got on a plane and left my life behind to make her happy.

“Ah, what’s a throw pillow?” Neil asks. “Is that a Florida thing?”

“Probably. It’s a fancy pillow used solely to decorate a bed, but then you just toss it aside when you want to actually sleep.”

“So it’s useless.” He laughs.

“Pretty much.”

“They seem to have a lot of money. What do they even do for a living? So, you know, when I grow up I can have enough money to buy throw pillows.”

There’s admittedly a lot I don’t know about Paula and Craig, but this question I can answer. “Paula works in marketing for a hospital, and Craig’s a CFO—that stands for chief financial officer, so, the dude who handles all the money—for a tech company.”

Neil’s eyes get wide. “So, yeah, they have money. Do you have to refer to Craig as Chief?”

“No, Craig’s pretty cool, but the money thing is weird. They don’t worry about it at all here. I’ve had Starbucks every day so far.”

“Now you’re just bragging. I should remind you that we have fried cheese curds and frozen custard.”

The smile on my face vanishes. “You know I’d rather be there.”

“I do.”

There’s an awkward pause in our conversation. I look away from the screen.