Thomas thought of taking the bike that still was rightfully his, but he couldn’t do that. His father could have it. But that was all he’d have.

Christmas Gift

Kevin sat looking at the screen, but he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He knew he needed to stop researching and take a break. Every lead only seemed to turn into another dead end. But he also knew that he didn’t have time for breaks. He needed to make the most of every second of every day. Especially since his checking account was overdrawn and he wasn’t expecting to get any checks anytime soon.

Santa might bring a lot of things, but he sure doesn’t bring nice fat checks.

He still hadn’t gotten Jenny’s Christmas present, and he didn’t know when he’d go out to find something. It wasn’t the money for the gift. It just seemed ludicrous that in light of everything—with the twins coming and Jenny feeling sick and the company already gone under—that he would buy his wife something like gloves or jewelry or something normal. He wanted to give her something meaningful.

But lately all my energy and ideas have gone to Precision Design.

He wasn’t always this way. He could still remember surprising her on her thirtieth birthday with a party full of friends and family. It had truly been a surprise, one that he had been proud to be able to pull off.

But the tendrils of life wrapped around him bit by bit as time passed. Now he felt like he was being suffocated as they squeezed and tried to snuff him out.

And that’s before having twins. How’s life gonna feel after having them?

With another doctor’s appointment looming, and Christmas only a few days away, Kevin couldn’t help feeling worried again.

He looked at a picture of Jenny and himself taken at Ray’s wedding, sitting on his desk. The same Ray who was now getting a divorce.

The moments pass you by until you realize it’s too late to get them back and say you’re sorry.

He stood up and thought about going downstairs and then out for a walk. A coffee or a beer or something.

Then he looked back at his desk.

Don’t leave these feelings deep inside of you. Do something with them. Let her know.

Kevin sat back down in his chair. He opened a new document and began to pour out his heart with two simple words:

Dear Jenny,

He thought for a moment, then he just started writing.

You deserve a lot more than this, than me. In the midst of the biggest event of both of our lives, I’m struggling with worry and the future. You encourage me when it should be the other way around. And it just dawned on me now, today, just how selfish and thoughtless I’ve been.

I’m sorry, Jen. I’m sorry for how little I’ve been there for you. I wake up knowing all the things I have to do but you never seem to make my to-do list. My priority list. My number one thing should be taking care of you, and I fail at that time and time again.