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Back One White Lie Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. DEDICATION
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. TWENTY-ONE
  25. TWENTY-TWO
  26. TWENTY-THREE
  27. TWENTY-FOUR
  28. TWENTY-FIVE
  29. TWENTY-SIX
  30. TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. TWENTY-NINE
  33. THIRTY
  34. THIRTY-ONE
  35. THIRTY-TWO
  36. THIRTY-THREE
  37. THIRTY-FOUR
  38. THIRTY-FIVE
  39. THIRTY-SIX
  40. THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. THIRTY-NINE
  43. FORTY
  44. FORTY-ONE
  45. FORTY-TWO
  46. FORTY-THREE
  47. FORTY-FOUR
  48. FORTY-FIVE
  49. FORTY-SIX
  50. FORTY-SEVEN
  51. FORTY-EIGHT
  52. FORTY-NINE
  53. FIFTY
  54. FIFTY-ONE
  55. FIFTY-TWO
  56. FIFTY-THREE
  57. FIFTY-FOUR
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

But the other part of me? It wanted to lift up the hatch and slap her – hard – across the face. Between Ellie’s dad and her mom, she should know a thing or two about control. She should have seen it then; she should see it now. The writing was right there, on the wall, just waiting for her to take the time to read it.

‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ I said. My fork tore at the eggs, the hollandaise sauce already congealing; it looked, suddenly, like yellowed pus, the color of the bruise that had taken up residence on my cheek for so long. A reminder of all that had happened. All I’d tried so hard to put behind me.

‘What?’ Ellie asked, not unkindly. ‘Please, just tell me what’s going on. I can’t take it, this guessing, this trying to make sense of it.’

I took a sip of beer for courage. ‘I was scared Davis would hurt me,’ I said.

Her eyebrows flew up, and she paused a moment before opening her mouth. ‘What do you mean, hurt you?’

I glanced to Al, willing her to move away, wipe the other end of the counter, take someone else’s order, then lowered my voice. ‘I …’ I stammered. ‘Listen, I tried to leave him, but I couldn’t.’

‘What are you talking about? What do you mean you tried to leave?’

‘He tracked me,’ I said. ‘He’s been tracking me since I moved in with him. On my phone. With that stupid Nest camera. That’s why I changed my phone number. I didn’t have a choice.’

Ellie shook her head. ‘You can’t be serious. Davis would never do something like that. The camera was for break-ins. Jesus. You must have misunderstood.’

‘Listen to yourself,’ I said. ‘This is why I never told you.’

‘It can’t be,’ Ellie said, catching her breath as her eyes filled with tears. ‘If it was really like that, you would have … I would have …’ Her voice trailed off, as if the rest of her sentence had gotten lost somewhere in a murky pool of misunderstanding and guilt.

I didn’t want to use it; it was insurance, for his eyes only. But now I knew I had to, if I really wanted her to believe me. There were no words that could compare to the image – besides, I barely trusted myself to get all the details out. I retrieved my phone, began to flick through photos.

‘What are you doing?’ Ellie asked, voice shaking with fear.

I found it in seconds. The one I’d taken, just in case. The one that would shatter her, like he’d shattered me.