Her voice was suddenly crazed, her grip on the knife even tighter. ‘I would never have done any of this if I knew you were so unhinged. I never thought you’d find the knife and kill her. At least when my anger boiled over, it was toward someone who actually deserved it. You killed Vera. You killed the best friend either of us ever had. Don’t think it’s over. Don’t think people won’t discover what you’re capable of. I’ll find a way to show them.’ Rachel glanced at the knife in her hand, as if remembering it was there. ‘Or fuck it, maybe I’ll just punish you myself.’

I swallowed, heart racing, as Dusty whined again at my feet. So much had gone wrong, so many misunderstandings, so many destroyed lives, but I wasn’t ready to lose mine, too. I had to do something. Something to knock her off balance, before she killed me, too.

‘You were wrong,’ I said.

Her eyes narrowed.

‘You were wrong about John.’

‘No I wasn’t,’ she said. ‘He was trash. He didn’t deserve her.’

I forced the words out, even though my heart was pounding, my palms sweating from fear.

‘He wasn’t trash,’ I said. ‘Claire told me the baby wasn’t even his. She got pregnant by some guy her age, at a party in Poughkeepsie. She was embarrassed. The guy never called her, and she didn’t know his last name. She was afraid to go to her parents, she was afraid everyone would slut-shame her –’

‘And you believe her?’ Rachel snapped.

I kept going, forcing confidence into my voice. ‘She went to the only adult she could trust. She went to John. That’s why he looked up Planned Parenthood. That’s why he found directions to the clinic. He did the right thing. He helped her when no one else would.’

‘No,’ Rachel said, but already, her grip on the knife was loosening, her hand hovering lower by her side. ‘No, you’re lying.’

‘Why would I lie?’ I asked. ‘Don’t you think I feel sick, knowing this all happened for nothing?’

‘John fucked a teenager,’ she said. ‘Vera adored him, and he shit all over their marriage.’

‘Only, he didn’t,’ I said. ‘And the truth is – and you must know this, deep down – that if you’d only believed him, if you’d only ignored the rumors, none of this would have happened.’

Rachel stared at me, her grip faltering even more.

‘If you’d been the friend Vera needed, if you’d supported her the way she needed to be supported instead of going straight to judging her husband, none of this would have happened. She wouldn’t have cut you out. She wouldn’t have befriended me. You wouldn’t have killed John, and I wouldn’t have hurt her. She’d be alive today if you’d done things differently.’