It was like my blood stopped pumping, like for a moment I was nothing more than a corpse. And in that moment, all I wanted to do was rewind and undo what she’d said. I knew I shouldn’t be so surprised. Even if she didn’t know what had really happened between John and me that night, she could read me like a book. She’d probably seen my crush from the beginning. But now, now it was out in the open between us, and I knew we could never get back to the way we were. Not when everything that had been brewing between us had boiled over, scalding us.

‘Vera,’ I said again, begging. ‘Don’t say that.’

‘Why not?’ she snapped. ‘You had a crush on him – like so many people did – but you didn’t actually care. Because if you had, you wouldn’t give up on him so easily now. You wouldn’t believe every goddamn word everyone says.’

‘We need to get out of here,’ I said. ‘Let’s just go home. Please.’

‘You wanna go?’ she said. ‘Fucking go.’

‘I can’t leave without you,’ I said.

‘Well, sorry. Maybe I don’t want to be around someone who believes what you do about my husband. I expected better of you, Lucy.’

Heart racing, I turned on my heel, rushing from the room, setting my glass, still half-full, on the edge of the pool table, pushing past the people, past the conversations, past all of it.

I didn’t even stop to grab my coat. Instead, I rushed out of the bar, into the open air.

There he was. Sam, smoking a cigarette.

He’d been waiting, waiting to get me alone. To pounce. ‘What’s got you so scared?’ Sam asked, his voice menacing.

‘Leave me alone,’ I said, voice half a scream.

I walked, briskly as I could, around him, tripping over a bit of gravel, steadying myself.

I reached Vera’s car and felt desperately for her keys in my pocket as, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam walking toward me.

It took three tries to get the key into the lock, it was so dark. I got in, pulling the door shut before he could come any closer. I spotted something white on the cuff of my sweater. It had begun to snow.

Inside, the car smelled stale. I shoved the key in the ignition, twisted it, heart fluttering at the turn of the engine, the sound of the car coming to life. I fumbled until I found the headlights, didn’t bother adjusting the mirrors, and backed out of the parking lot, blinding Sam.