I get on all fours on the board, and, once I’m on, Joel gently places his hands on my back to correct my posture and I try not to jolt at his touch.

‘Just put your hands a little further apart on the paddle.’ He lets go of my back and climbs on his own board and demonstrates how to hold the paddle and then how to use it.

I start to mimic him the best I can. I stay on my knees for a while until Joel suddenly stands up on his board. He looks forward and slowly spins his board round so that he’s facing me.

‘OK, we’re going to get you up.’

‘No, no, no, we’re not, I’m happy on my knees. It’s peaceful and it’s great and—’ I go to open my mouth again and to tell him another no when I stop myself. The last few weeks since I got my past emails have pushed me to the edge of my comfort zone and nothing particularly hideous has happened. Today is all about saying yes. ‘What do I need to do?’

Joel smiles, and talks me through how I’m going to do it. Slowly I push one of my shaky legs up.

‘You’ve got this, Edie, come on. Next leg. Keep looking up, don’t look down.’

I get up on both feet and I am standing. I’m actually standing on my board.

‘I’m up, I’m up,’ I squeal and I look down to get my bearings and I start to wobble.

‘Look at me, just at me,’ says Joel, ‘right here.’

‘Are you trying to go all Dirty Dancing?’

‘Not intentionally. Look into my eyes.’

‘Now you’ve gone all Paul McKenna.’

He starts to laugh and so do I, which does not help my balance, and I start to wobble again.

‘I’m going to fall, I don’t want to fall.’

‘Keep looking up.’

It doesn’t help. My arms start to windmill and I instinctively drop my paddle and fall sideways off the board.

I hear Joel shout but not what he says as I hit the water, which, despite the wetsuit, is a cold shock. I’m only under for a second before my head comes back up and I gulp for air.

Joel crouches down on his board and reaches down to help me up.

‘I won’t let you sink.’

I remember the first time he said that to me. He’d been holding me so gently in the water, teaching me how to starfish on my back, my body tingling at his touch.

‘Luckily neither will the foot strap,’ I say, trying to push that memory out of my head.

‘That’s why you should always wear it. OK, to get back on, just push yourself up from the middle, don’t kick out.’