‘OK.’ He leans over and he pulls me in close to him. ‘Are you going to be all right? Will you get the train home?’

I laugh.

‘I don’t think I can face another train journey. I’ll just get a taxi to Westerly, maybe head to the beach, dig my toes in the sand.’

‘I could come with you? I’m worried about you being on your own.’

‘I’ll be fine. Besides, you’ve got a wedding to witness.’

He pulls me in tight again.

‘You promise you won’t tell him?’ I ask.

‘Promise.’

He pulls out of the hug and crosses the road. He glances back at me when he makes it to the other side. I give him a wave and he waves back before he disappears into the building.

I turn on my heel and I’m proud of myself for holding it together and not letting the tears fall. Joel’s getting married and I have to move on. It’s the right thing to do, even if it does hurt. Although there’s one thing I know for sure: in the future, I’m not going to wait until it’s too late to tell anyone how I feel.

Chapter 37

My journey to Westerly was quite dull in comparison to the mad sprint to the registry office. Ironic, really, that there were plenty of available taxis around, no traffic diversions nor any red lights slowing me down.

I know deep down it wasn’t a wise decision to return here and pick a beach that was so steeped in memories of Joel and me, but there’s something poetic about heading to Kestrel beach just when I’ve made peace with the future Joel and I have. It’s my final goodbye to our relationship. The taxi driver drops me at the edge of the nature reserve and I take my time walking through the heather-lined paths and down the wooden bridges until I can hear the waves crashing on the shore.

I’m cursing the fact that I’m not as organised as Joel to have a backpack; in fact, my small work handbag is of hardly any use to me on this impromptu trip. I sit down on a rock on the edge of the beach, slip off my shoes and dig my feet into the sand.

I stay there for a while, watching the waves crash against the shore, trying not to look at my watch or my phone to see what the time is. I know it’s long past 11 a.m. and Joel and Verity will be married by now and probably at the wedding lunch they’d arranged for afterwards.