My heart is pounding so loudly that I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears.

‘Is he …’ The words catch in my throat, I can’t say them out loud. I can’t lose my dad. I’m not sure at what point the tears start to roll down my face but my cheeks feel wet. Joel puts his hand on my arm, but I can barely acknowledge it.

‘He’s in the hospital, they think it’s a heart attack. Julie’s there on her own and she’s scared because she doesn’t know what is going on as you’re his next of kin.’

I swallow hard.

‘He’s going to be OK though, isn’t he?’ My voice trails off.

‘I hope so,’ she says but she doesn’t sound reassuring.

‘It’ll take me at least an hour from here and I need to get my car; it’s in town.’ I can’t think straight.

‘I’ll look after Julie until you get there and if there’s any update I’ll phone you.’

I hang up the phone and it tumbles out of my hands. Joel catches it before it falls to the floor. My hands have started to shake and my legs feel weak and any second now I’m going to be sick.

‘Dad’s had a heart attack,’ I say but it doesn’t sound real. ‘I’ve got to go and get my car, and I’ve got to drive to the hospital. I should never have taken the day off, I should never have—’

‘I’ll take you. My car’s at the boatyard, it’ll be quicker. Plus, you can’t drive in this state.’

‘You’ve got work and—’

‘I wasn’t there for you before when you needed me; I’m not making that mistake a second time.’

He stands up and pulls me up from under my elbow, forcing me to my feet and he holds me all the way to the car. It’s a good job too because I don’t think I would have made it unaided. I can’t stop thinking the worst.

Joel helps me into the car and then runs round to the driver’s side.

‘I can’t lose him, Joel. I can’t.’ I push my sunglasses up on top of my head as my tears overcome me.

He takes my hand and squeezes it tight whilst he starts the car.

‘It’s going to be OK, I’m here, OK, I’m here.’

I hope he’s right, because I don’t think I’m strong enough to go through it again.

Chapter 29

THEN

The countdown to the end of the season at Hartland’s had well and truly begun. The children were back to school and the campsite had grown quieter. We had less than a week until it closed for the season.