She leads me towards the lounge, where I can hear Verity. I can only assume Joel will be nearby. He’s the last person I want to see.

My whole body feels like it’s on fire and I’ve never felt such a strong desire to run away from anywhere before. Soph’s practically having to drag me as I’m digging my feet into the ground like a stubborn mule.

I spot the toilet and I excuse myself, bolting the door behind me. I take hold of the porcelain basin and I scrunch my eyes shut. I breathe deeply, trying to come to terms with things, but I don’t know where to start. I’ve been so caught up this summer thinking that Joel never liked me in that way, that there’s no chance, even now, he’d feel the same way as I do. Only that email rewrites all our history. The connection I felt then was as strong then as it is now; what if he still feels it too?

I wish I could hide in here forever, but I know I’m only delaying the inevitable.

Soph’s standing in the doorway to the lounge and she ushers me in. Everyone greets me and I try not to look at Joel on the sofa. I wave with a shaking hand at Brett sitting on the armchair, and Alfie crawling on the floor. Soph guides me to the end of the sofa next to Verity.

‘Well, this is a nice surprise,’ I say, trying to even out my voice.

‘Joel and I only popped by to borrow a bike but then when we heard you were coming, we thought we’d stay and say hello.’ Verity taps my leg and smiles.

‘Lovely.’ I put my hands on my lap but I can’t keep them still so I end up slipping them under my thighs.

‘Right, shall I make the drinks?’ says Soph. ‘Everyone want tea?’

‘I’ll have some hot tea, please,’ says Verity. ‘Black, no sugar.’

Joel pulls a face. ‘One of these days I’ll get you to drink tea the proper way.’ She winks then raises an eyebrow in a flirty move that stabs at my heart. Of course he doesn’t feel that connection like he did all those years ago. He’s happy with Verity. Whatever he said in his email was all in the past.

‘How’s your dad, Edie?’ asks Verity. ‘Joel told me what happened. I’m so sorry.’

‘Yeah, he gave us all quite a scare, but he’s going to be fine, thank you. He’s off work for another few weeks, and changing a few of his lifestyle habits, but he’s going to make a full recovery.’

‘I’m so pleased to hear that.’

There’s a pause, like it’s my turn to fill the conversation and I panic.

‘How are the wedding plans?’