Every person has within her a certain amount of self-preservation to guide her. But when the self in question has taken the sheer number of knocks that I have, the preservation instinct is ground down. Mine is a fine dust, little particulates that have all but disappeared. I’m not sure what self there is left to preserve. I guess I’m upset because he’s finally leaving me alone. There is some small part of me, a wishful, stupid part, that doesn’t want him to go.

“Take care of yourself, Nora,” he says.

“You, too.” And I mean it. I really hope he does.

My phone buzzes an hour later. Brazuca has sent an article. Clicking on it will dig into the data allotment on the burner I’ve purchased. Since I’m already living dangerously, I do it anyway.

The headline reads: man, 49, found dead on second beach.

Joe Nolan, who never showed up for his shift at the Van Club, is now dead. His body was found lodged in between two large rocks. A follow-up article says Nolan’s car keys were still in his pocket, along with his wallet and a rolled-up joint. His phone was missing, though.

They think he stepped off the path to smoke a blunt, tripped, and hit his head when he fell. He bled out on the rocks just steps away from the path.

Just your average middle-aged stoner who went into the darkness to light up in one of the most cannabis-friendly cities in the world, where marijuana is now legal. He did this on one of the coldest nights of the year. A tragic accident. Nothing suspicious at all.

21

Detective Christopher Lee isn’t in a good mood. He’s not pleased to find Brazuca waiting for him in his driveway when he arrives at his North Vancouver house, across the city over the Lions Gate Bridge.

“What are you, a stalker?” he asks, getting out of his car.

“I thought you enjoyed my company.”

“That was in the past. Before . . .” Lee searches for a time he enjoyed Brazuca’s company. Comes up empty. “Fuck it. I can’t even remember.”

Lee unlocks his front door and waits until he disarms the alarm system before turning to Brazuca. “It’s been a long day, bro. What do you need this time?”

“Can’t I just visit my old partner?”

“Not really. How can I be of service to you today?” Lee’s tone is light, but Brazuca worked with him long enough to know his old partner’s patience is at an end.

“The man found on Second Beach. Nothing suspicious there?”

“That story in the papers? It didn’t land on my desk, so I don’t know the specifics. But from what I heard, we’re not treating it as a homicide at this point. Unless you know something?”

“He used to be associated with a gangbanger twenty years ago.”