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Back No Going Back: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (84)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Part 1
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. Part 2
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. Part 3
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. 41
  47. 42
  48. Part 4
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. Part 5
  60. 53
  61. 54
  62. 55
  63. 56
  64. 57
  65. 58
  66. Part 6
  67. 59
  68. 60
  69. 61
  70. 62
  71. 63
  72. 64
  73. 65
  74. 66
  75. 67
  76. 68
  77. 69
  78. 70
  79. 71
  80. 72
  81. Acknowledgments
  82. About the Author
  83. Also by Sheena Kamal
  84. About the Publisher

“Okay,” I say. Then I leave. I sit in the waiting room and think about why I wasn’t able to say to Leo that he means something to me, too. How much it hurt to keep Seb’s illness from him.

Stevie comes out of the office. “Drink?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Over a year sober.”

He winces. “That makes a lot of sense, actually.” For a moment it looks like he’s about to expand on that thought, but thankfully he decides to move on. “Doing some interviews for a background check. Want to come along?”

“Can’t today.”

He looks relieved.

We chat for a bit. It feels normal, like it used to feel when I worked here. We discuss the news about an alleged serial killer who was caught after eluding the police for decades. He famously went on a killing spree, terrorizing the Bay Area. It was said he was driven to murder because a woman had rejected him.

He continued murdering because he simply enjoyed it.

Stevie thinks it’s just morbid office banter, but I’m happy we’re speaking like this. About this topic in particular. I don’t want to ever forget what people are capable of. Especially given who I have to go see tonight.

19

To live in Vancouver is to be obsessed with the ocean. There’s nothing else of value here. You can find nice trees elsewhere in Canada. You can hike in other places. Mountains abound in this country. There are no shortages of lakes. To choose Vancouver specifically is to choose the Pacific, to sacrifice the entirety of your paycheck to be near it. That is, if you’re a hobo like myself. If you’re a man like Peter Vidal, and you can afford to park your yacht here in perpetuity, then it’s no sacrifice at all.

But the ocean is still the draw.

I can’t help but take a few minutes to appreciate the view from the marina at Coal Harbour, circle around to where the seaplanes take off, and then head back to the Van Club.

As I approach it, I peer through gilded doors and into the lobby lit with a cascading chandelier, the light spilling out into the street in little droplets. Even though I’m half an hour early, there’s no reason for another bouncer to be at the door. Yet there he is, this guy, unapologetically being a man other than Joe Nolan. I clock his girth first, taking up most of the doorway, and then his guarded expression.

There’s no way this man is going to let me through the front without an invitation.