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Back No Going Back: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (84)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Part 1
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. Part 2
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. Part 3
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. 41
  47. 42
  48. Part 4
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. Part 5
  60. 53
  61. 54
  62. 55
  63. 56
  64. 57
  65. 58
  66. Part 6
  67. 59
  68. 60
  69. 61
  70. 62
  71. 63
  72. 64
  73. 65
  74. 66
  75. 67
  76. 68
  77. 69
  78. 70
  79. 71
  80. 72
  81. Acknowledgments
  82. About the Author
  83. Also by Sheena Kamal
  84. About the Publisher

I’m not feeling up to conversation, either. We sit in the quiet kitchen and finish the French press. She makes another one. We drink that, too.

“I have to get going,” I say.

She nods. “Go get him.”

“I will.”

Her voice takes on a hard edge. “I mean it, Nora. I don’t pretend to understand what’s happening here, with you or with Bonnie. But it has to end. And I’m not stupid. Everett wants to be a big shot; he wants to hire bodyguards and all that. He doesn’t see. Whoever tried to take Bonnie, it wasn’t about her at all. It was about you. So I’m going to support his decision, and I’ll do the best I can to protect our daughter, but you’re the one who has to fix this.”

“I know.”

“Good. Here, take this with you.” She breaks off a banana from a bunch and packs some of the leftover pizza from last night, along with two bottles of water. After I feed Whisper and let her stretch her legs once more, Lynn sends me on my way.

She told me to take responsibility for the mess I’ve created, which hurt, but it is a fair assessment of the situation. I’m to do it for our daughter, but before I go, here is some sustenance for my journey.

I drive away from the cabin with the knowledge that I’ve been reprimanded and nourished simultaneously. It’s a new experience for me. Does Bonnie experience this every day? Is this what it’s like to have a mother?

I wouldn’t know.

50

To say the heavy snowfall caught the city by surprise is a ridiculous understatement. People are in a state of shock, interspersed by moments of panic. No one knows what to do with their hands. Should they try to dig out their vehicles, which they don’t know how to drive in these weather conditions, or do they dial their workplaces to say they aren’t coming in? Tips on how to drive in the snow fill local news reports while those who had moved here to get out of this kind of vengeful weather curse their misfortune and sneer at the masses who are seemingly struck helpless by flakes of fluffy white precipitation.

I am on the side of the cursing and sneering few. It takes me, as Leo would say, literally forever to get to Mountain View Cemetery.

It’s such a letdown, visiting a grave.

Herein lies the rotting body of a person who was once alive. Here’s a stone slab with some basic identifying information on it. I’m reading the words on the headstone, but they don’t make sense. Well, they do, technically, but they’re not what I think about when I think of Sebastian Crow.