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Back No Going Back: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (84)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Part 1
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. Part 2
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. Part 3
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. 41
  47. 42
  48. Part 4
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. Part 5
  60. 53
  61. 54
  62. 55
  63. 56
  64. 57
  65. 58
  66. Part 6
  67. 59
  68. 60
  69. 61
  70. 62
  71. 63
  72. 64
  73. 65
  74. 66
  75. 67
  76. 68
  77. 69
  78. 70
  79. 71
  80. 72
  81. Acknowledgments
  82. About the Author
  83. Also by Sheena Kamal
  84. About the Publisher

After I clean off the dirt and traces of blood from my scraped palms, Whisper and I both eat ravenously, as if it’s our last meal. I let her out onto the balcony to cool off and close the sliding door to keep the warmth in. I watch her until a kind of peace settles over me. She falls asleep to the sounds of the city, and it’s her utter relaxation that guides me to the sofa.

It gets cold after an hour. I pull a blanket over me and wonder just who could have been following me and Brazuca in the car and who tried to grab me at the protest. The protest attack certainly happened, but it was confusing and sloppy, so I file it away.

But it’s possible that Brazuca was imagining things on our drive. He’d been looking at me in a way I don’t like. As though I’m some sort of fragile thing. Like I can be broken. I don’t blame him for being on edge. When I saw him about a month ago, he’d been on a health kick and had even been consuming large quantities of vegetables. This commitment to his well-being seems to have vanished. And his limp is worse than ever.

Earlier today I watched him drink almost an entire pot of coffee on his own. He dropped his car keys on the way to the back lot, and when he bent to grab them, his bad leg seized up. He spent several minutes driving through what must have been excruciating pain. When he jerked the wheel of the car suddenly to get us off the highway, his hands shook. He didn’t notice, but I did.

Brazuca’s nerves are shot, and he’s too damn proud to admit it.

12

I call Simone, my friend from AA, to let her know I’m back in town.

“I know,” she says. “Brazuca came to a meeting last night and told me. I shouldn’t have to find these things out from him, Nora.”

“I’ve been distracted by Whisper.” Somehow I know this is the only answer she’ll accept. She has a dog, too, so she knows what a woman’s priorities should be.

“Don’t give me that,” she snaps.

A lot must have changed since I saw her last. She’s never been quite this testy with me. “Are you performing tonight? I’ll come by to see you.” I don’t mind her drag club, and it’s been a while since I’ve witnessed the level of coordination she can manage in stiletto heels.

“No, I’m doing pole class tonight, but you can meet me after. I could use someone right now.”