Oh yes. This I love. Micah’s hands cling to my hips as if to push me off or pull me down. I don’t think he knows which. I don’t think I do either. He squeezes me in his grip, and I fist my hands in his hair, pressing myself against him, letting out a very uncool squeak when I feel him against me there.

He freezes, and I bite my lip. “Sorry,” I whisper.

“Don’t apologize. But maybe we should…” He gently removes me from his lap.

I try to cross my legs under me again, flustered at the heat radiating from my core. Micah doesn’t look much better off. He’s flushed and trying valiantly to cover any evidence of his enthusiasm. I’m torn between feeling proud and mortified.

“I didn’t know it could be like this,” I start, gesturing between us. “This is kind of intense. Right?”

He chuckles low. “Understatement.”

“I mean. Is this how it always is?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. No? I don’t have a lot of experience, but this feels different. You have this effect on me.”

My stomach sinks at his words. “I do?”

He’s still not looking at me, lost in thought. My fingers itch to touch him, but I can’t. Is this my fault? Did I push him too far?

Suddenly, every youth group speech is filtering into the clouded mess of thoughts in my head. Keep your body covered. Protect the eyes of your spiritual brothers. Don’t lead boys into temptation. Guard your body. Save it for your future husband. Don’t drink alcohol; you’ll lose your morals. Don’t spend time alone with boys. Don’t let boys into your bedroom. If you are ever alone with a boy, stay vertical; nothing good can come from being horizontal.

Kissing is the gateway to sex.

Suddenly, I’m on my feet. “I don’t know how to apologize, Micah. I am so sorry. This is my fault.”

His head whips up, shock evident on his face. “What?”

I shut my eyes, too embarrassed to look at him. “I led you astray. This stupid short dress, and I was dancing provocatively, and then I pushed you against that wall and kissed you, and—”

He swears under his breath, and I open my eyes, expecting to see him angry. But instead, he’s … understanding.

“Meg, please sit down.”

As soon as I do, he turns his body to face me.

“When I said that you have this effect on me, I meant it. But not in the way that I feel like you’re tempting me into something sinful and dark.”

“But I did do those things, and you did respond.”