I lean back into the couch, tucking my feet under me. “That’s what she heard, and her mom before her, I’m sure. Not that I’m condoning it. I’m trying to stop the cycle. But it’s difficult when I hardly know what I think about all of it.”

“It being…?”

I wince. “Sex.”

“Right.” He waits. I sigh, picking at the pillow in my lap.

“It’s just that I’ve always thought it was wrong, and that’s a difficult mindset to change.”

“That sex is wrong or sex before marriage is wrong?”

“That’s the thing,” I say. “It was always sex. I thought. But I’ve realized I was tying the two together in my mind. Sex and premarital sex. Until like three months ago, I called it boinking, Micah.”

Micah snorts, and I feel the ghost of a grin tease my lips.

“Vada used to tell me my homeschool was showing.”

“Duke calls it borking. Close enough.”

“I knew I liked him.” I pause, carefully planning what I want to say. “I really like kissing you.”

“Same,” says Micah easily. “But I’m okay if that’s all you want. I get it. I can wait for you.”

“I think there’s something wrong with me,” I whisper. “Because it’s not all I want, but I’m afraid to do anything else. I told James tonight that I would tell the girls their bodies were a gift from God, and they should protect them as such and only give them away if and when they were ready to share that gift.”

Micah exhales softly. “That’s a good way to say it.”

“But I’m afraid to believe it myself.”

Micah leans forward so his face is only a foot away from mine. “Can I tell you something, with you bearing in mind what I just said about being willing to wait for you? Because I meant that, but I need to be honest with you.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“I think God created sex, so it’s a good thing.”

“Okay.”

“Still with me?”

“I think so. Is there more?”

“Does there need to be?”

“No. But you haven’t had sex?”

“Not yet. But I’d like to one day. With you, even. Still okay?” he checks.

I press my lips together to keep my heart from jumping out of my mouth and nod.

“I don’t know if I want to have sex before I’m married. The thing is, my parents are divorced. So, while I believe in marriage, a hundred percent, it doesn’t always mean the same thing it did in biblical times, and even then, it wasn’t great for women. Marriage, as a finish line, has never made sense to me.”

“That’s fair. My parents’ marriage was a sham.”

“I guess I’m not waiting for marriage as much as I’m waiting for the person God has planned for me.”