The corner of my lips twitch, but I swallow my smile down. “He hasn’t come to see me.” James’s head bobs once, and I continue. “Which is messed up, because I don’t want anything to do with him. I don’t. He ruined my life and messed with my mom and sisters, and I finally might be starting to hate him for it.

“But he’s been out for almost a week and hasn’t made any effort to speak to me. To see me. He has no idea what I’m like now. The things I’ve done. The person I’ve become. You would think, after being in prison for almost six years, checking in on his kid would be his first priority. We were best friends, James. I wanted to be him. I loved everything about him. And he hasn’t even called.”

My voice chokes off on the last word, and James swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Wow,” he says after a minute. “That’s not what I thought this would be about.”

“You thought I was angry.”

“I confess I did.”

“I am,” I admit. “But mostly I’m…”

“Hurt.”

I sigh. “Yeah. And I can’t tell my mom, because it would kill her. She wants me to be different from him, and I am. I know I am. He’s a mess. He’s disgusting and manipulative and a liar. But I’m not the opposite of him. She wants me to be the opposite of him. She needs me to be, and I can’t. I’m not perfect, and there are parts of him inside of me, still.

“And Brian is the best guy I know, but his priority is my mom and their kids together. What if he decides I can’t be around them? What if you decide I’m not good enough for Meg? Oh God.” I stare up at James’s face, mine draining of color.

James is already shaking his head. “Okay. Hold on. This is where I step in and tell you that you aren’t damned. Right here. You are not your dad, and his mistakes aren’t yours.”

“I know that, but—”

“You aren’t condemned because you want to see him. Micah, he’s your dad. You don’t think I would give anything for one more minute with Drew? The guy who ignored me growing up and accidentally killed himself and my girlfriend? The guy I’ve spent decades grieving? One minute.” He laughs, self-deprecating. “Just one minute to hug him and tell him I love him.”

“My dad isn’t dead, though. He was in prison. He messed up a lot of lives.”

James nods. “Yeah. It’s a mess. And I’m not saying he’s worthy of you. Because, to be clear, he’s not. But that’s not your fault.”

“And the videos are still circulating on the internet.”