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Back Never Goodbye Save as PDF
Chapters (71)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Page
  3. Dedication
  4. CONTENTS
  5. PART ONE
  6. 1. ELLA BRODEN
  7. 2. DANA GOODWIN
  8. 3. ELLA BRODEN
  9. 4. DANA GOODWIN
  10. 5. ELLA BRODEN
  11. 6. DANA GOODWIN
  12. 7. ELLA BRODEN
  13. 8. DANA GOODWIN
  14. 9. ELLA BRODEN
  15. 10. DANA GOODWIN
  16. 11. ELLA BRODEN
  17. 12. DANA GOODWIN
  18. 13. ELLA BRODEN
  19. 14. DANA GOODWIN
  20. 15. ELLA BRODEN
  21. PART TWO
  22. 16. ELLA BRODEN
  23. 17. DANA GOODWIN
  24. 18. ELLA BRODEN
  25. 19. DANA GOODWIN
  26. 20. ELLA BRODEN
  27. 21. DANA GOODWIN
  28. 22. ELLA BRODEN
  29. 23. DANA GOODWIN
  30. 24. ELLA BRODEN
  31. 25. DANA GOODWIN
  32. 26. ELLA BRODEN
  33. 27. DANA GOODWIN
  34. PART THREE
  35. EIGHT MONTHS EARLIER DANA GOODWIN
  36. 28.
  37. 29.
  38. 30.
  39. 31.
  40. 32.
  41. PART FOUR
  42. 33. ELLA BRODEN
  43. 34. DANA GOODWIN
  44. 35. ELLA BRODEN
  45. 36. DANA GOODWIN
  46. 37. ELLA BRODEN
  47. 38. DANA GOODWIN
  48. 39. ELLA BRODEN
  49. 40. DANA GOODWIN
  50. 41. ELLA BRODEN
  51. 42. DANA GOODWIN
  52. PART FIVE
  53. 43. ELLA BRODEN
  54. 44. DANA GOODWIN
  55. 45. ELLA BRODEN
  56. 46. DANA GOODWIN
  57. 47. ELLA BRODEN
  58. 48. DANA GOODWIN
  59. 49. ELLA BRODEN
  60. 50. DANA GOODWIN
  61. 51. ELLA BRODEN
  62. 52. DANA GOODWIN
  63. 53. ELLA BRODEN
  64. 54. DANA GOODWIN
  65. 55. ELLA BRODEN
  66. 56. DANA GOODWIN
  67. 57. ELLA BRODEN
  68. 58. DANA GOODWIN
  69. 59. ELLA BRODEN
  70. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  71. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I squint at him to say that I’m waiting for an honest assessment of my performance. I can see the emotion bubbling up inside of him. So much so that it looks as if my tough cop of a boyfriend is actually tearing up.

“What’s there to really say, Ella? The truth is that you’re spectacular. Onstage. Everywhere.”

2. DANA GOODWIN

2.

DANA GOODWIN

“You’re home early.”

My husband says this with a broad smile. He doesn’t have to add that I’m a sight for sore eyes because I can see that sentiment all over his face. If I were married to a different type of man, I might be suspicious of such sentimentality after six years of marriage, but the one thing I know without any doubt is that Stuart is sincere in his love for me. Which is why, despite the fact that he longs for me when I’m away and I know I should be glad about it, it cuts me like a knife. A reminder of just how unworthy I am of his love.

My expression must betray my thoughts, because Stuart’s smile fades. A wistful look crosses his face. “Did I mention that I’m very happy you’re home so early?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been working such long hours lately.”

“I get it. New job, new boss, new responsibilities. I mean, you can’t be an elementary school art teacher for as long as I have without knowing what workplace pressure is all about.”

A common joke Stuart tells is that he’d find another job if he could figure out an even more stress-free position than the one he currently occupies. I smile at his self-deprecation.

“Is Jacob still awake?”

“Yeah. I was just about to start the bedtime ritual.”

“Mind if I do it tonight?”

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I find my five-year-old son is sitting on his bed, talking to his stuffed tiger. It’s bigger than he is. Jacob named him Mr. Big Tiger.

“Mommy!” he cries upon seeing me.

Jacob’s excitement that I’m home is a further reminder of the late nights I’ve been spending away from him, and I feel the familiar stab of guilt that has accompanied me for the last several months. I’m determined to make it up to him, somehow. Him and Stuart.

“How’s my favorite boy?”

“Good.”

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Nothing.”

“It looked like you were talking to Mr. Big Tiger. What does he have to say for himself?”

“He doesn’t say anything. He’s not real.”

“Well, you’re real. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I don’t know. You’re real too, Mommy. What do you have to say for yourself?”