Chapters (93)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Also by Sarah Clarke
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Note to Readers
- Prologue
- December 2021
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- January 2003
- Chapter 6
- December 2021
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- February 2003
- Chapter 9
- December 2021
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- March 2003
- Chapter 13
- December 2021
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- April 2003
- Chapter 18
- December 2021
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- April 2003
- Chapter 23
- December 2021
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- April 2003
- Chapter 27
- December 2021
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Chapter 34
- May 2003
- Chapter 35
- December 2021
- Chapter 36
- May 2003
- Chapter 37
- December 2021
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Chapter 41
- Chapter 42
- Chapter 43
- Chapter 44
- Chapter 45
- Chapter 46
- Chapter 47
- Chapter 48
- Chapter 49
- Chapter 50
- April 2003
- Chapter 51
- December 2021
- Chapter 52
- June 2003
- Chapter 53
- December 2021
- Chapter 54
- Chapter 55
- Chapter 56
- January 2022
- Chapter 57
- Epilogue
- A Letter from Sarah Clarke
- Keep Reading …
- Acknowledgements
- Dear Reader …
- About the Publisher
Beth hesitates; she doesn’t know how to answer her friend’s question. She knows that she should feel proud of herself for stopping for that man. And that it’s not her fault he died. He was a heroin addict, homeless and must have been in his fifties at least, so the odds were already stacked against him. But she actually feels immensely sad, guilty even. Perhaps it’s the other squatter’s comments, and her previous less-than-charitable behaviour, preying on her mind. ‘I suppose I just wish I’d taken a different route home,’ she says eventually.
‘You did something amazing last night, Beth. You should feel very good about yourself. I bet loads of people would have just walked straight past, assumed he was drunk, or that he was someone else’s problem.’
‘I just want to put it all behind me now,’ Beth says. She can’t help suspecting that Saskia is sweetening her up to extract more details.
They reach the school gates, and as they submerge into the crowd, Beth prepares for the inevitable onslaught of wide smiles and enthusiastic greetings. She knows this is entirely her own fault, a side effect of her being an enthusiastic member of the PTFA and running the face-painting stall at every summer fair, but it still makes her nervous. The sense of scrutiny it creates. But doing the right thing has been a feature of her life since she was forced to move schools for her A levels. She was given a chance to be someone new, someone better, and her gratitude for the opportunity has shaped every decision she’s made since.
But after what happened last night, she can’t cope with being that quasi-celebrity today, so she nods at the other mums, returns their smiles, but looks away before they have chance to strike up a conversation. It works until one of them – Nicole, mother of Rosie in Ava’s class – goes one step further, and curls her fingers around Beth’s arm. Her skin feels hot beneath the woman’s grip.
‘Beth, hi,’ she enthuses. ‘How was last night? Can’t believe I couldn’t make it; bloody Charlie late home from work again.’
Beth applies a warm smile to her face and swallows down bile. She pulls her arm away from Nicole’s fingers and scratches her palms. ‘Fun, yes,’ she mumbles, nodding, wishing her heart rate wouldn’t rise without warning. She wants to take a step backwards, but there are bodies there too; she can sense their heat. ‘Got to rush, you know?’ she manages. She turns towards Martha and Ava, but they’ve already slipped away, carried along by the tide of children tumbling into school. At least with the girls inside, Beth’s job is done. She turns, drops her head and weaves her way through the crowd. But she hasn’t fully escaped; Saskia is still at her shoulder.