ex-boyfriend said ‘hey peg, thank you in advance,’ for driving him, I think. I said ‘oh. Hm. Well. I don’t actually know if I’m going to want to say ‘you’re welcome’ in advance. So. This might. Hm. Do I?’ he made noises like he impatiently understood.

Drove down 4th st. We talked about my first cats, Puffy and Bluebell. He said ‘let me get this straight: you had two cats that were named after stuffed animal dragons you already had? You named the cats…because of that?’ I said yeah. He asked me other stuffed animal names. I rattled them off like the real ‘old sage’ in town, who knows all the hot spots and wants to show you a good time. Exbf was laughing a lot. I said ‘nooooo, soon you’ll be gone and I’ll be all alone. Over…there.’ He said things I should do: get boxes to ‘at least fill them with books, so you can look at that and think: ‘I did that,” go see ‘spring breakers’ alone. I started telling a story and he sighed. Interrupted myself to say ‘don’t worry, I’ll get to the interesting part.’ He said ‘oh my god, really?’

Said ‘I can’t believe I threw up out of nowhere like that. Did you put something in your come?’ he raised his eyebrows and tilted his head down and said ‘yeah, peg.’ I said ‘like, more than normal? Did you put more heroin than normal in your come?’ parked without paying meter outside Wawa. He wanted orange juice. Said goodbye in Wawa.

10:09am: shivering in whole foods parking garage. Ex-boyfriend is on the bus. Seems like liveblog is deteriorating. My sense of time. Something. Tenses.

10:33am: walking around whole foods. Struggling not to show physical shivering. Teeth are chattering like, unstoppably, it feels good to let them. The vibrating chattering shivering thing is designed to help me somehow. My ideal self is a giant vibrating head vibrating so intensely you cant even tell it’s vibrating, it makes you feel like you’re vibrating, it’s just this giant head floating in another dimension.

Passed a woman freely sampling trail mix from bulk containers, nodding excitedly, like she wanted to say ‘that’s a great point you just made.’ Or that they were a new kind of music performed for the first time in her life, that she would then stop everything and rearrange her life to tour with them.

Bought two green juices, a coconut water, four-pack steaz zero calorie energy drinks, large container papaya. Bought mint green nail polish and a grapefruit candle because I wanted to see the sentence ‘bought mint green nail polish and a grapefruit candle.’ Thought ‘small kindness of consumerism.’ In car now, teeth chattering and shivering still.