11:12pm: walking back to apartment. Bought hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, white vinegar, ‘oxy-clean’ product. Candy and the girl who gave me quarters (she’s also the girl who once stopped me from paying in the self-checkout so she could use the ‘store bonus card’ since I didn’t have one, then scanned my stuff on the fourth of July when I was with [omitted], I like her, she’s quiet and doesn’t move her face much, has an affect of ‘peaceful resignation to a life she’d rather not live but has long given up on changing’) were standing by the self-checkout area. They were saying things about other cashiers going home. Hope this shit rids Shirley and Alvie and me of the pee smell. Rides us out of the pee smell. One-way ticket out of the pee days. I think she peed because I was gone for something like four days. There was still food in the ‘extra food’ dishes I left but…I don’t know. Annie used to pee everywhere too. Why are cats always peeing on my stuff. It would be so nice if everyone just peed where we’re supposed to pee.

11:45PM: at apartment now. here is what happened with candy the night i stopped liveblogging:

i was the only customer, i think. it was almost midnight. they had closed down the self-checkouts. candy was scanning my things. in the produce section, i’ve noticed, before they mist the vegetables, they play a variety of audio samples. sometimes it’s ‘thunder,’ sometimes a few seconds of ‘singing in the rain,’ sometimes ‘rainforest.’ the rainforest sound happened. candy said ‘what is that, is that a bear? i always think it’s a bear.’ i said ‘i don’t know, do they make noise?’ he said ‘yeah they make noise! that’s the noise they make!’ i said ‘oh no.’ he said ‘i’m just afraid there’s a bear back there, you know, it’s gonna run out here and tear it all up! tear the place up, run out and eat me!’ i was smiling really big. couldn’t tell if he was serious. i said ‘you think it could eat you?’ he looked shocked. he said ‘yeah! have you seen those things? they’re huge, huge paws.’ he demonstrated the paw-size with his hands. i said ‘oh whoa, whoa.’ he said ‘i’m just worried it’s gonna come running out, when i hear that, you know?’ i said ‘yeah. yeah, you never know.’ he said ‘they’re huge, those things! grizz-el-y bears.’ it was quiet for a few moments while i paid. i picked up my bag and said ‘well, i think you’re in luck, i don’t think they like the beach.’ he smiled and we made eye contact and then i knew he had been joking. candy. love candy.

AUGUST 7, 2013