•  what if there was a little gnome following me around saying things like ‘time is of the essence, m’lady.’ would that be good? who even said ‘time is of the essence, m’lady,’ why do i know that, do british people say that? no, common misconception: people think british people say ‘time is of the essence, m’lady’ because the hobbits spoke with british accents in ‘lord of the rings.’ are there any midgets/dwarves who like ‘lord of the rings’ and prefer to be called ‘hobbits?’ where are hobbits supposed to be from. ‘glendora.’ if i thought more about this i could remember where they’re from but i don’t care. a little hobbit following me around saying ‘m’lady’-type things: how would that actually be different than what it is now? a lot different. no, that’s what…most people would probably be like ‘oh that would be so good, i want that,’ but think about it: in what ways would it change anything? it would probably be annoying. it would be, like, ‘something to adjust to.’ i would feel sort of uncomfortable, at first. what would we say when we weren’t saying stuff like ‘time is of the essence, m’lady.’ what if there was a sexual dynamic. one of us would mention something about it and then it’d…something would be different. we could never go back to the time when it was unmentioned. also, people on the street would definitely notice. people feel more comfortable approaching strangers when their situation is obviously ‘not normal,’ people think it’s more okay to comment on it. i might get less done/go outside less because of this. i would adjust to the thing of someone being around me constantly. when i’m around someone a lot i start feeling annoyed with them. or no, maybe i’m always annoyed, i’m just more likely to tell the person about it when things are slowing down and we’re familiar with each other and i’m starting to feel like i can predict things about them so it’s getting a little boring. the hobbit would annoy me. i’d be like ‘why are you doing this to me, why are you here.’ maybe that passes. i’ve never gotten past that. maybe something else happens after the period of annoyance. it’s probably just indifference. calm supportive indifference, ideally. so i’d probably just feel the same as now. it would be sad when the indifferent period would start…like after a certain point, somewhere between ‘annoyance’ and ‘indifference,’ one of us would try to do a ‘last gasp of air’ thing. we’d start saying ‘time is of the essence, m’lady’ to each other again as a weak kind of joke with these desperate-looking faces…making eye contact but then it feels too intense so we pretend to not look away really fast…sharing a silent awareness of ‘what it once was’…probably each thinking ‘i bet they’re not thinking about ‘what it once was’ like i am. if they were thinking about it too, that would mean we’d be thinking the same thing and it wouldn’t feel like this’…mutually preparing to enter the phase of indifference…but still, that wouldn’t be very different from now. it wouldn’t be too much to handle. it would actually probably feel kind of nice. comforting.