saw spencer and people exiting powerhouse arena when i turned left in front of it to look for parking. remember mira saying ‘spencer and people left to go to some other bar’ maybe three times throughout the night…seemed really funny every time, unintentional non-sequitur. parked on water st. nicholas texted that he was at the party and getting ready to leave and asked where i was. i texted that i was walking inside. this was around 8:30PM.

found mira and sam cooke pretty fast. i think…shit. they were outside. we were all outside. willis’ NYU friend who works at powerhouse joined us. remember hitting mira and sam in excited frenzy and repeating ‘is it just a reading’ and ‘what did i miss’ and maybe ‘where are you going now,’ and them saying ‘they just ran out of alcohol’ and ‘spencer and people just left to go to some other bar’ and shrugging with these faces…i’m laughing…we were all on ‘overdrive.’

inside: seemed chaotic. recognized a lot of people right away. saw gian right away and handed him hot pink straw and blue compartment drug container thingy with heroin in it and watched him disappear in the crowd. this became my ‘thing.’ i would leave conversations to say ‘i want to find gian, he has my drugs.’ i don’t know if i told gian that. he was my ‘out.’ had funny inner dialogue about my frantic/illogical/insistent desire to leave conversations as soon as i’d start them, and gian’s passive involvement. i felt like i was talking about him like he was ‘tino’ from ‘my so-called life’—who i don’t think really existed, the audience never saw tino. i repeated ‘i need to go find gian, he has my drugs’ to people a lot.

lost track of mira and sam after gian drug-turnover. remember sam saying a person was ‘guarding’ the alcohol and seeing the person standing on an upper level, deciding we’d all go up there to steal it, then suddenly being presented with nicholas and hugging him and introducing him to mira and sam, saying ‘we worked at ukazoo together,’ aware of mira and sam maybe not knowing i worked at a bookstore called ‘ukazoo,’ then they disappeared. talked with nicholas about how long we’d been at powerhouse. he said ‘they just ran out of alcohol.’ he said something i’m not sure he’s comfortable with me writing about, but he seemed happy, and i was glad he was happy about it. he said something about an event next week or the week after, which i said i’d like to go to, and it was good seeing him the other night. he was walking away as this happened.