Microwaved a pizza slice. There was a knock at the door that neither of us wanted to get. A little later mom went downstairs and returned, holding a big cardboard box. I said ‘oh it’s my drugs, my drug shipment.’ she said ‘no no no!’ and swatted at me. I said ‘no i bet it’s our coconut oil’ and unpacked the box. I said ‘it is, it’s the coconut oil. Why is the box so big?’ mom said ‘I don’t know, I’ve noticed that recently…they’re using big boxes now, everywhere…everyone.’

7:03pm: called dad to see if I could get his signature, left voicemail, started driving to his office. Listening to less than jake. Can tell I will associate this album with this time period in the future. Had previously associated it with senior year of high school.

7:33pm: dad’s office lights were on but his car wasn’t there. Knocked on office door. Read email from Matthew donahoo.

7:45pm: dad called, was getting a haircut when I arrived.

8:07pm: made wrong turn. Have been listening to less than jake, singing along. Minimal thoughts.

8:12pm: fake teeth security guard saluted me.

8:32pm: gave each cat a nice hard petting. Fed them and cleaned box. Humped Alvie. Placed Shirley on top of Alvie. Brushed teeth, peed, ate eyedroppers of zeolite supplement. Just kidding. I didn’t hump Alvie. You thought I humped Alvie…you sick fuck…

8:34pm: rubbed Alvie’s belly hard and said ‘feewf…feewf…you’re my wet boy.’ Shirley swatted his head and ran away. Now petting Shirley one-handed. These cats like to be rubbed so hard. You can swing them around on the floor and lift them by their tails. They seem to love it. Can’t believe they’re real.

8:47pm: older woman with dog talked to fake teeth security guard at the gate. He gave me a pointer-finger salute. He was busy petting the dog. If you are petting a dog it’s more appropriate to salute with a few fingers. Save the whole-hand salute for when you’re alone and can fully focus on the salute.

9:30pm: waited for dad outside his office. Did not bring phone. Walked to back room, where he was doing something on a computer. Told him I’m staying at mom’s tonight, to watch more ‘homeland’ and go to the gym. He said there is a gym in his condo/neighborhood too. I said things about yoga while walking to the door. Hugged him and said ‘goodbye’ and he said ‘love yourself.’ I said ‘oh okay, you too, see you tomorrow’ or something. Yesterday when I left I said ‘this won’t be the last time we ever talk, I don’t know why I always think you want me to assure you of that.’ he said ‘I know it won’t be the last time,’ unconvincingly.