7:25am: Alvie howling. Pet him on kitchen floor then Shirley came over and I picked them up at the same time. Shirley is drinking water out of my glass and now Alvie has joined her. No, he gave up. Alvie has given up on the water glass. Did he give up? Yes, he has officially jumped to the floor, hit the floor with a loud thump, but he is unscathed, perhaps even happy about the thumping—yes, he seems to be thumping deliberately, furthering his kitchen shitshow of tragic sounds. Trying to get more bass for the shitshow. He needs more bass, that’s all it is. Once he has the bass he’ll be happy. Alvie and the thump squad (a.k.a. his feet) hot on the trail for more bass. Got a craigslist tip about the sickest subwoofer, it’s on top of the fridge. You don’t even have to install it anywhere, it’s included. All you need to do is climb to the top of the fridge and jump off. That’s it. All the bass in the world. The sickest bass. Any hour, any time, really any time, all yours: just climb to the top of the fridge and jump. It’s about how you hit the floor. BOOM. Thumpmaster Alvie and the thump squad will not settle for anything less than the highest gravity fridge-top bass. What I’m saying is he seems to be jumping off the fridge a lot.

7:31am: Shirley walked backwards to sit on a folder, is now staring at a lamp, bumping nose on lid of dad’s computer. She has been fiending for the space between my arms and the keyboard all night. Offered water glass to Alvie, which he smelled, looked concerned at, and walked away. Oh my god. Way more meows than five every two minutes. Over ten times a minute.

7:46am: rubbed the shit out of Alvie. Gave him the nicest longest petting. He didn’t purr but he looked very pleased and squinty-eyed. Seems to have quieted him. Jesus. Need to pet him and let him hump and knead on me more.

7:55AM: coffee maker started automatically a few minutes ago. can hear dad doing alvie-like thumping in bathroom. searching for bass, at this hour…jesus…nothing can stop the search…

11:39AM: emptied trash on dad’s computer. forgot about volume and ‘empty trash’ sound startled me, mostly in genitals. a genital startling, via ‘empty trash’ sound. jumped alvie-style. heart still normalizing. it was like, a protective startling.