4:10AM: ‘nah cause last time i did molly after addy binge it wasn’t that great from cross tolerance…but u know, u r the master of ur domain,’ masha tweeted. looked at ‘cross tolerance’ and thought something about bees that did not bode well. not going to eat the molly. will be less functional tomorrow if i eat the molly. want to eat the molly. pictured baby animatronic dinosaur from 90’s TV show saying ‘not the molly,’ freezing for a horror movie interval, shaking something at me antagonistically.

4:34AM: short gchat with ex-boyfriend. something felt upsetting but neither of us explicitly said what. maybe he wasn’t upset. he’s at our apartment in philadelphia. feel like he thinks i forgot him or something. leaving mom’s now.

5:05am: opened/closed kitchen cabinets quietly. Drank swigs of antacid while responding to texts from Mira, Sam Cooke, Willis, Alex. Willis is responding.

5:10am: thought ‘at least it’s warm outside’ walking down stairs. Opened door and was struck with coldness and overpowering ‘wet dog nose’/saliva-like smell that trailed into car a little. Turned key in ignition. Texted Willis about the smell, thinking we’d riff about it to better endure it together. He responded normally. Texted ‘Going to concentrate on driving now.’ Car feels lower to the ground than normal. Merging onto 695E. Checked email. Irritated at mass ‘Matt Monarch’ raw food newsletter. Remembered tweet by Ellen Kennedy like ‘I am responsible for the zero emails in my inbox,’ I feel that.