2:33AM: in like 20 years you’re going to start meeting people named ‘huffington.’ then in 300 years you’re going to start meeting people named ‘huffington post’ because people will have forgotten about ‘the huffington post.’ they will have just, over time, noticed other people walking around named ‘huffington’ and…maybe…i don’t know what accounts for the ‘post’ being a part of the name 300 years away. there’s always some margin of error in these things, isn’t there? social gene mutations? the ‘random’ variable? ‘random noise variation’ accounting for…adaptation? used to know college stuff. shit. some people just keep knowing that shit after college. ho, ho, ho. not i.

recently i tried replacing typing ‘haha’ or ‘hehe’ with ‘HO HO HO.’ also in high school katie and i tried to replace actually-laughing with saying ‘that’s funny.’ seemed impossible.

4:45AM: since i didn’t account for ‘no more refills’ variable on birth control and i didn’t get it refilled i invented an auxiliary, semi-ass-related, lower-level punishment: uploaded two topless ‘as-is’ photos to flickr. posed a little in the first one, the second is closer to the position i was laying in when i had the idea. this is to punish myself, but also to sort of to show you what i mean about how my breasts look embarrassed in bras. the left one is like. looking down, kind of. always. dejectedly. like ‘basketball practice has been over for like 45 minutes, when is dad going to get here?’

it feels so nice being in this bedroom and laying with shirley on the bed. i have this candle going. there are a lot of softly-colored green things in here and dim morning lighting. seems like the perfect size, like just enough room to walk to the bed. feels so good. i wish i felt this more regularly. excited to live alone again. i’m putting all my things in storage in maryland and living with my dad until i hear about the apartment in rockaway park. might make liveblog private tomorrow in case the apartment building people want to google me. seems. not worth it, though. if they’re the type. who would not like me because of this.

i’m just fully typing like, fully conversational-style, like imagining i’m talking to a person when i type, not imagining ‘what should writing look like.’ it feels good. felt like i did that really hard today. i don’t think i’ve done this before, to the extent i’m doing it now. like not worrying about saying ‘like’ or. ending sentences like that. because that’s how i’d say it out loud. okay.

5:12AM: want to wander around to see if any 24-hour places have ice cream to sell to me right now. not tired at all. xanax made headache go away.