11:20PM: parked outside apartment, talking to dad on phone. good talk. we were both about to eat sandwiches with pickles on them. dad was like ‘oh you gotta put the pickles on, it’s so nice to take a bite with a pickle.’

11:21PM: entered apartment. fed cats. got sandwich ready for after packing box of books. wawa has some baller type shit going on with their condiments, you can get condiments on the sandwich AND on the side. just by pressing a button. some real baller type shit.

11:30PM: packed books from ‘abe’ to ‘german.’ boom. 30 minutes to spare.

11:34PM: someone paypaled me $100 for seemingly nothing, i think. haven’t opened email yet. jesus christ, person. thank you. this BLT is gonna taste extra good.

MARCH 28, 2013

1:04AM: ben brooks sent the $100, with instructions to spend it on drugs. light gchat argument with ex-boyfriend about renting a u-haul friday. he thinks it’d would be ‘wasteful’ because his dad has a pick-up truck. definitely seems like i have more things than my car and a pick-up truck can hold. furniture. shit. agreed to see how it looks when everything is packed, then maybe rent a u-haul. just want to leave it all on the street.

i have clothes with sizes ranging from two to eight. i’m like a 27 or 28 in pants and girl’s medium or small or kind of ‘whatever’ in shirts. 34B. haha. who wants my bras? bras have always looked ‘embarrassed’ on my body, i feel. like ‘jesus, this is where i have to be? after that ad?’

2:25AM: laying in bed. ate 1mg xanax. drinking a beer. the people below me are yelling again. the woman seems more mad tonight. they are slamming things and the walls are vibrating sometimes. i haven’t seen this couple, but in the past i have seen the couple who lived there before them. they had one or two small children. they would scream like, insane maniac screaming, like punk band with zero twitter followers and 5000 t-shirts to sell screaming. the children also screamed sometimes but i understood their screaming, they were probably trying to get their parents to hear them, but was hard because there was already so much screaming. it would be like, in the morning, ex-boyfriend and i would wake to the sounds of this couple screaming. one time i stomped hard on the floor, to ‘check up’ on them. the guy yelled ‘the fuck i’m gonna quiet down in my own house’ or something. it was funny.

imagine people screaming things like ‘LEAVE ME ALONE’ or ‘I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME’

wait, shit. they do that. it’s normal, kind of, to do that. i’ve done that, i think. haha.