‘Come on then. Let’s not hang about. We’ve work to do.’

We also need to have every trace of our venture cleared away before Greg comes home as he’ll have a blue fit if he even gets a whiff of this.

Less than an hour later and my sister and I are in black stilettos, fishnet tights, black satin Bunny Girl corsets and pink fluffy ears. I feel ridiculous. And long for my wellies. Thank goodness it’s a warm day otherwise I’d be freezing my butt off out here. As it is, I’m a bit hot under the collar with embarrassment.

Self-consciously, I smooth down my corset. ‘I feel really stupid.’

‘Do you want to go to Peru?’ Lauren snaps.

‘Yes.’

‘Then shut up whining.’

I shut up whining.

As well as my car-washing dress sense, my informational sign was also deemed inadequate and Lauren has produced another one.

LET THE BUNNY TWINS RUB YOUR BUMPERS!

Let the bunny twins rub your bumpers? I shudder.

HAVE A HAND JOB FOR ONLY A FIVER!

Hand job! Oh, my word. Are we really only offering car washing services?

‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask Lauren for the hundredth time.

‘Positive,’ she says. ‘And may I remind you that raiding the costume store was your suggestion.’

‘I didn’t imagine kitting myself up like this though.’

‘What were you going to do, to draw in the punters?’

‘We could have done Elvis,’ I say, trying to suck my tummy in. ‘That would have been funny.’

‘We don’t want funny,’ Lauren points out. ‘We want money. And fast.’ Then she nudges me. ‘Look sharp. Looks like we’ve got our first punter.’

And, sure enough, a sleek black Jaguar pulls in.

Lauren teeters over to him as the man gets out of his car. I have to admit that my sister looks hot, hot, hot and it’s clear that our first customer thinks so too. Picking up my bucket, I follow her.

‘Can we give you a rubdown?’ Lauren asks.

‘I wish I was ten years younger,’ Jaguar Man says with a chortle.

Make that twenty, I’d say.

‘The sight of you two lovely ladies has made a happy man feel very old,’ he jokes. And that pretty much sets the stage for the rest of the day.

So, while I leap into action with my sponge and soapy water, Lauren flirts shamelessly and wiggles her tail. The man grins from ear to ear. He chortles particularly loudly when I bend over to reach the middle of the bonnet. I sigh as I try to enter into the spirit of this and waggle my tail too as I do it. Jaguar Man gets so excited that I think he’s going to have a coronary.