‘Thanks,’ I say, tearing up. I hug Bobby, and Ellen comes to join in.

‘Come home safely,’ she says, a bit teary herself. ‘We both love you.’

‘We’re gonna miss you, big time,’ my son adds.

‘I’ll be back before you know it.’

‘The only downside about this Peru thing,’ Bobs warns, ‘is that Dad was convinced you’d never do it. Now that you’re really going, he’ll have a fit.’

At which point, my husband appears in the doorway and says, ‘Dad will have a fit about what?’

Chapter 110

Chapter 110

My children, citing urgent matters to attend to, quite sensibly scarper.

That leaves me and Greg alone.

In lieu of speaking, my husband opens his hands and gestures at the piles of hiking-type stuff heaped on the bed.

‘The company has paid for my ticket,’ I explain. ‘They didn’t want to leave me behind. I can pay them back for it when I’ve earned the money.’

He still doesn’t speak.

‘I leave tomorrow to go to the airport.’

Greg visibly recoils. ‘Tomorrow?’

I nod. And then fight the urge to run round in a circle, screaming, ‘Tomorrow!’ at the top of my voice. ‘We’re staying at the Ramada Hotel overnight and then we fly out first thing the following morning.’

He stands and stares at my gear as if trying to work out what it is. Eventually, he speaks. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

That much is clear enough.

‘“Good luck” would be nice,’ I venture.

‘I never thought you’d go,’ he says. ‘Not really.’

I want to ask why, but then I also don’t actually want to know.

‘Don’t go,’ he says. ‘Please don’t go.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’m worried. Worried how you’ll manage. Worried that you’ll be hurt or fall ill.’ My husband’s shoulders sag. ‘Worried that you’ll be so far away from me. Worried that you won’t want to come home. To me.’

Now it’s my turn to be taken aback.

He turns to me, eyes troubled. ‘You will come home to me?’

‘Of course I will,’ I say, baffled. ‘Why would you think otherwise?’

My husband looks round the bedroom. ‘What if you like it so much that you decide that you want more than this?’

‘I won’t,’ I say.

‘How can you be so sure?’

‘Because I love you. I love the kids.’

‘You can’t wait to get away from us.’

‘It’s not like that at all! I just wanted to do something for me. Something exciting. Something daring. It doesn’t mean that I love any of you the less.’

Greg doesn’t look convinced.

‘I wanted you to come with me,’ I remind him. ‘I begged you to come with me. I’m not doing this because I want to leave you behind.’

‘I’m frightened that I’m going to lose you.’

‘Never,’ I say.