‘I’m moving in with Zak,’ she admitted, avoiding his eyes. ‘Why don’t you take over the flat, Jude? Live there?’

‘Too many memories.’

‘You’ll get over it,’ Lauren said softly. ‘It would make sense.’

Jude shrugged. ‘Perhaps I will. Give me a couple of days to think about it. I don’t know how long my back will last on that floor.’ He tried to say it as a joke, but there was a sob in his voice.

‘Oh, Jude,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry that it’s come to this.’

Her ex-lover’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I think you should leave now, Lauren.’

‘I’ll get my things.’ She put the keys down on his desk.

‘Can I hold you one more time before you go?’

Lauren nodded. He came forward and took her in his arms. Arms that she had waited and waited and waited for. They still felt good and strong around her. How easy it would be, to sink into his embrace.

‘I still love you,’ Jude whispered against her throat.

She forced herself to pull away from him. ‘Be happy, Jude.’

Then Lauren walked away. To her new life, her new love. And she didn’t look back. Not even one glance.

Chapter 109

Chapter 109

Once again I’m sitting on my bed. This time I’m surrounded by carrier bags laden with gear for my trip to Peru.

I’ve bought new hiking socks, some of those tops that you can wash out and dry within a minute, a new fleece and some hiking trousers that you can zip off at the knee to make into handy shorts. I hold them up and admire myself in the mirror.

‘Nice,’ Ellen says, drawling the word in an ironic manner. My daughter lounges at my bedroom door. ‘You’re not going to win any fashion competitions in that get-up.’

I swish to another angle. ‘I think I look like a proper hiker.’

‘I think you look like a proper wanker.’

‘Ellen. Language.’

‘What’s all this for?’ she wants to know as she comes and moves my carrier bags out of the way – changing lounging on the door to lounging on my bed. My child flicks through the contents of the bags.

‘I’m going to Peru.’ I can’t help my grin.

‘No way!’ Ellen exclaims. ‘I thought that was all off.’

‘Well, it’s on again. I fly the day after tomorrow.’ But we’re actually going down to the airport the night before and staying in a hotel on site as the flight is at ridiculous o’clock in the morning.

‘What are we going to do without you?’

‘Cook, clean and tidy up for yourselves.’

Ellen doesn’t look very impressed by that. ‘I’ll end up doing everything for Dad and Bobs.’

‘Only if you’re stupid – as I am.’

My daughter groans. ‘So you’re really, like, going.’