Greg is leaning against the back door, gazing out into the garden. ‘Nice day,’ he says. ‘Think I might dig some worms out of the compost heap for tomorrow.’

That is also not a bad thing, but it makes me bristle with irritation nevertheless.

‘Fine.’ I keep my voice neutral and make my own tea and pour one for Greg too. Would it be too much to ask for him to sweep me into his arms and kiss me? What would it be like to be rushed up the stairs, thrown saucily on to the marital bed and ravished?

I know that there are a lot of ravishings that go on in Lauren’s relationship and perhaps that’s what keeps her going back for more and more. But then Greg has never in all our married years been one for impromptu ravishing, so why should he start now?

‘Good party?’ he asks.

Yes, I feel like saying, I shagged a C-list celebrity from Holby City up against the wall. See what he’d make of that. Instead, I sigh and settle for just, ‘Yes. Chelsea sends her love. She looked lovely.’

‘Great.’

That’s the extent of his interest of my wild night out without him. I hand Greg his tea. ‘Good fishing?’

‘Yeah.’ I never have to worry where Greg is or who he’s with. The only thing I have to compete with is the torrid pleasure of tench.

‘Where are the kids?’

‘Out.’ He shrugs to indicate that he isn’t party to their whereabouts. They’re at the age where every single move is top secret. Even when I text them to check up on them, they pretend they’ve been lost in the ether. I still worry about them even though they’re both, supposedly, adults now.

‘Thought I might go fishing again later, if that’s okay with you.’

‘Fine.’ As if Greg would listen if I said I wanted to do something else. What if I suggested a walk instead? An afternoon in bed? Sharing a bath together?

‘What about you?’ he asks. ‘Fancy coming with me? Bring a book?’

I shake my head. Why can’t he read my mind? Why can’t he tell what I’d really like to do? Why can’t he tell that I’m not happy with the way things are?

Besides, I hate sitting by the river for hours gazing into the distance. Gives me too much time to think dark thoughts. And midges love me. I’ll get eaten alive as soon as the sun starts to sink. ‘I’ll probably watch telly.’

Why not? I do it virtually every night. Why break the habit of a lifetime?