Chapters (17)
- Cover
- Imaginative Sex
- No Fantasy, Please, We’re Americans
- Contents
- I. Imaginative Sex: The New Sexual Revolution
- II. Love, Hunters And Evolution
- III. Marriage, Sex And Normality
- IV. Sex And The Brain
- V. Marriage And The Ventilation Of Emotion
- VI. Privacy
- VII. Disease
- VIII. Requirements For Imaginative Sex
- IX. Imaginative Techniques
- X. Sensuous Fantasies: Recipes Of Pleasure
- EPILOGUE
- Appendix
- Copyright
This is a good fantasy for women. Although they are not as much oppressed in our society as many of them enjoy believing, there is little doubt that they have more than their fair share of frustrations. The main frustration is doubtless a very basic biological one. The woman is, statistically, smaller and weaker than the man. The child who finds himself at the mercy of bullies is in a position not unlike that of the female most of the time. Just being “loomed over” can induce a feeling of psychological helplessness. The child may grow up and clobber the bully, but the female is going to remain smaller, and, in effect, at his mercy. This is made easier by the fact that the female, interestingly, usually finds “bullies” sexually stimulating; they bring out a feeling of delicious vulnerability in her; and, to some extent, she enjoys being teased and “bullied.” She knows that, eventually, in or outside of marriage, she is going to be “had” by the bully, and that, hopefully to their mutual delight, she is, inevitably, going to serve his sexual pleasure. Almost all women want to be had by a man. Those who do not tend, statistically, to be less frequently impregnated, and, accordingly, over many generations, tend to be weeded out of a population. With women becoming economically independent this tendency will be geometrically accelerated. Two hundred years from now man-haters may be extinct. Up to our day, or the last generation, they had to accept impregnation as the price of survival. One great social advantage of the women’s liberation movement is likely to be that it will lead, indirectly, back to love, family and the home. There is no reason why love and a home should be societally forced on any woman. Those who continue to feel a powerful impulse toward men and the love of children will continue, hopefully, to be free to follow these impulses. Those who do not should not be forced, societally, I suppose, to marry or have children. On the other hand, the women’s-libber-type mind is a valuable strain in a population, and perhaps such women, and Lesbians, for example, should be forced to bear at least one child, that these genes not be lost. At any rate, most women, regardless of their ideology, have excellent reasons, at least from time to time, for resenting men and their dominance. Men do, in effect, run society and women, rightfully or wrongfully, desirably or undesirably, tend to occupy, statistically, less prestigeous positions. The woman, just in standing before a man, is immediately classed with all other women as a certain kind of object, to be accorded certain kinds of treatment. She is seen as a “kind” of thing, pretty, weak, vulnerable, at the mercy of men.1 She is classified as prize, as sexual quarry. One cannot blame a woman for not, upon occasion, resenting this immediate classification of her as a “form” of life with a certain sexual destiny. There are times when a woman wants to be seen by a man as his object, and his prize, but there are other times when she resents, and justifiably, her nature as the always-weaker, the always-hunted. There are times when she wishes she had power, that she might look on men as they look on her, that she might own and command them, as they do her, that it might be she, she, who is dominant!