Yes. I have for a few years now. I never mentioned it because I didnt think youd care.

She almost said, I dont. But she was still hanging onto what Grandma Tate had just said to her. I dont want to leave any old, wilted relationships to die in a negative light…I dont want to leave anything unsaid.

Would you…, Jesus, she couldnt say it.

Yes, dear?

Would you be willing to tell me how to get in touch with him?

Oh, Rachel. Dont let my last-minute missions before death rub off on you. These are things I need to do. It shouldnt affect you.

I know, but…the idea of losing you has sort of opened up a lot. It wasnt a lie, but it wasnt what she truly wanted to say. It dawned on her then that maybe at some point, shed have to tell Grandma Tate about her tumor, too. God, why did it all feel so complicated.

If thats really what you want, lets wait until after I speak to him. It may be a bad idea, after all. Let me talk to him first and then well see.

Rachel could only nod. She hadnt even entertained the idea of trying to find and speak to her father in a handful of years. The idea seemed new and just as dangerous as ever. Her mother would be discussed, and a very heated argument would occur. Blame would be assigned, and names would be called, and it was not something she wanted to revisit. It was why shed all but convinced herself that her father had simply winked out of existence nearly a decade ago.

She opened her mouth to speak but then heard Paige coming back down the stairs, her rapid footfalls like that of one hundred ponies.

She needs to see the princess crown I made with melty beads!

Youre right! Rachel said, far too relieved to have been so forcefully removed from the sudden seriousness of the conversation.

Paige hopped back up onto the couch, taking her spot back. Rachel once again resigned herself to the outskirts of the camera frame as Paige showed off her newest melty-bead creation. Yeah, and Daddy even let me use the iron for them this time, she bragged as she filled the screen with the plastic crown.

Rachel felt blindsided. Shed gone from not having thought of her father in several daysand not even thinking of trying to locate and talk to him in yearsto now resting on the certainty that she needed to do that very thing sometime soon. Because she did have very few days left. And if she continued to work the way she was, even that year the doctor had given her may not be an accurate timeframe.