She shook her head and the next words that came out of her mouth were a hard, bitter truth. I cant. I need to work.

Why? What cant you face by yourself at home?

She knew the answer, though she had never been able to admit it to herself. She confessed it in her mind in that moment but didnt dare speak it out loud. She had to work because it allowed her to run away from her fear of failure. Shed always been phenomenal at work. At home, shed always felt like a sub par mother and wife. Especially now with the way everything had happened.

Rachel, if Anderson finds out you kept this from him…

He wont. You have my word on this, Jack. One or two more cases. Or if one of these little episodes just takes all of the wind out of my sails.

Do you know…how much time do you have left?

About a year.

Jesus, Rachel.

There was a gasp in his voice as he said it. He reached out and took her hand and she let him. There was nothing romantic or forward in it. Theyd placed their lives in the hands of the other far too many times for a gesture of such encouragement and sorrow to be misconstrued as anything it wasnt meant to be.

Ill um…, Jack started to say. He stopped and wiped a tear from his eye before it had a chance to fall. He cleared his throat and started again. Ill do whatever you need, Rachel. Ill be whatever you need. But I have to tell you this, as your friend…not your partner. If you keep working with this and I see that its affecting you and putting you in even more danger, Im going to call you out on it. And at that point, youll either tell Anderson, or I will. Agreed?

Fighting back tears of her own, Rachel squeezed is hand. Agreed.

Neither of them said another word, though they continued sneaking glances toward the front of the hospital, waiting to see Stanhope come out with Brandon Holcomb in tow. In the meantime, they sat in the warmth of the afternoon among flowers and a few buzzing bees as Rachel slowly started to realize that the more she talked about her condition, the better she felt. She was afraid of what that meant, but in that one almost-perfect moment, she was more than willing to take it on.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Rachel wasnt sure if it was the moment shed shared with Jack in the hospital garden or the scare shed had in the hospital stairwell, but she opted not to take part in the interrogation of Brendan Holcomb. Jack and Stanhope teamed up on it while Rachel sat at their temporary cubicle space and started writing up a report for Anderson.