I could have taken half of what I’d had in New York, but I hadn’t wanted any of it.

“This place looks like a depressed college student lives here,” my sister had said the last time she visited.

I used to love nesting. I’d search for art and vintage furniture and weird ceramics to fill my home. Right now, the only decoration in the whole apartment is a half-finished puzzle on my dining table.

My therapist thinks I’m afraid to put down roots again.

I don’t think she’s wrong, but knowing that doesn’t mean I’ve been able to do anything about it.

If I leave for the weekend, I’m certain Katie will do more than just buy a couple of plants for me.

“I can’t go to Montana with Gabe Parker,” I say.

“With Gabe,” she corrects. “He’s just Gabe.”

I glare at her.

“You’re supposed to be the voice of reason.”

She laughs. It is, of course, a complete lie. No one has ever accused Katie of being the voice of reason in any situation.

“You know that’s not why I’m here,” she says.

She’s the kind of person you call when you need to rob a bank and you want someone to give you permission to rob that bank.

My bag is by the door. The car will be here any minute.

“If you really want, when your ride gets here, I can go outside and tell them that you’ve changed your mind,” Katie says.

I gnaw on the corner of my lip.

“Is that what you want?” Katie asks.

“This is a bad idea,” I say.

She pats the sofa cushion next to her. I sit.

“You know what I’m going to say.”

“Maybe,” I say.

I still want to hear it. Because Katie is the only person who knows the actual truth about what happened between me and Gabe. She knows because after the Brooklyn party, after everything Jeremy said, after I showed up on her doorstep, soaked to the skin, throat sore from crying, I told her everything.

Katie believes in the power of the universe and karma and purpose. I know, as far as she’s concerned, the reason that Gabe is back in my life is some sort of sign. And it’s my responsibility to follow such a sign.

“He’s not Jeremy,” Katie says.

I let out a breath.

She’s right, but that’s not the only reason I’m hesitating.

I can’t escape Gabe, and it feels almost pointless to try.